Ok, so it’s been a thousand months since we’ve talked. My
entire world has been turned upside down, sideways and inside out! All in good
ways! We had our baby girl in August! Healthy, gorgeous and HAPPY all the time!
The first thing I noticed when they laid her on my chest was her eye lids. She
has my puffy eyelids. I did that! Wow. That is the coolest thing ever!! Oh, and
my nose.
I cannot believe that she’s half me and half my husband. And
I don’t think it really hits you until you see & hold your baby for the
first time. That moment was the best of my life. I’m so passionately in love
with her. She has been the PERFECT addition to our little family. She is a
symbol of God’s love, goodness and faithfulness. We named her Raelyn because it
means “God’s lamb of beauty.” Her middle name is Grace, “God’s unmerited
favor”. We knew that’s exactly who she was. My mighty little princess warrior.
It’s incredible to know that because of God’s timing and
His working everything out for our good, we have our daughter. Losing our first baby last year was the most
devastating thing that has ever happened to me. But even in the midst of the
pain, I felt my God’s presence. I knew He was faithful and was ever so close
to my heart. My second pregnancy was a constant opportunity to trust Jesus and
meditate on His goodness…not my fears. And our beautiful daughter is one more
example of how loving and good my God remains. If we hadn’t lost our first
baby, I would not have Raelyn. It’s hard to explain how that makes me feel. It
does not ease the heartache and depth of loss I still feel. I am not glad that
it happened. However, God used that pain to teach me more about His heart than
any “happy” season of my life. And He has created something beautiful through
the timing and through His plan…the sweet life I now hold in my arms every day.
(She’s pretty incredible, I gotta tell ya.)
So be encouraged, as I have been. He is good. Being able to
see more clearly that He gives beauty for ashes and joy for mourning has made
me fall in love with Him even more.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1
Our little peanut now sleeps through the night and has
started allowing me to put her in her swing throughout the day so I can get
things done. Like I said, she’s pretty incredible. So, I am looking forward to
talking with you more. You are special to me & I have prayed for you during
my absence…and sleep deprivation.
Blessings, sweet friend.
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