That Man of Mine

I am watching my husband live out Ephesians 5:28. “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” With all the raging hormones and emotions flying around, I know that my husband does not have an easy job right now. Not that living with me didn't have its challenges before, but let's just be honest, pregnancy can make a woman a little...unpredictable. So I wanted to use this time to brag on him for a moment. And as a thank you to him, I decided to compile a little list of the recent amazingness he's shown me. Jarred, you're the best.


PREGNANCY MAKE ME APPRECIATE MY HUSBAND EVEN MORE WHEN...

I wake up in the middle of the night, AC going full blast, and I still feel like I’m burning up. Then I look over and see my husband wrapped up tightly in 3 extra blankets, only his nose showing, because he’s so cold. (And I never hear any complaints about his frostbite in the morning.)

My husband gives “the pause” after he says something and isn’t sure how I’ll respond to it. If my expression isn’t looking positive within .098 seconds, he will either back pedal like his life depends on it (because it just might) or tell me how beautiful I am to distract me. I’m perfectly ok with either one.

The bigger & more uncomfortable I feel, the louder his whistles and cat calls are when he catches me changing. He leaves no room in my mind for me to feel unattractive.

He comes to every one of my doctor’s appointments. He’s very helpful at remembering the questions that I always forget to ask my nurse. The other day I couldn’t remember my question, but knew it had something to do about my belly button. I asked my husband if he could remember. He nodded yes and very seriously told my nurse, “We’d like to know where it went.”

He comes home after a long day at work and an intense hike in the mountains and asks what he can do for ME while he’s making dinner. Seriously? How did I score this guy?

We both realized I just ate as many chicken wings as he did. I look at him in shock. He responds, “I have never wanted you more than at this very moment.”

What a blessing it is to have a husband that not only supports me but constantly makes me laugh. He is patient with my craziness and gentle to my every changing emotions. That man…I’m gonna keep him for sure.

Thank you, God, for my awesome (and extremely good looking) husband! During these times of transition and change, You remain constant. I declare You as faithful!

Cupcakes & Cravings

It is incredible the correlation I’m constantly seeing between being pregnant and living a Christ-centered life. (Well, besides losing my belly button, basic coordination and short-term memory. But even then, I’m sure I could find some connection if you gave me enough time. Speaking of coordination, I walked into two walls last week. Not one. TWO. It wouldn’t have been so surprising had I been blindfolded… or looking behind me while I was walking. But my eyes were wide open and looking straight ahead. And regardless of what I told my husband, those walls didn’t really jump out in front of me. Is this normal because we may need to take out some extra insurance. I still have three months to go and let’s be honest…I wasn’t the most coordinated person to begin with.)

Despite my sore toes and bruised knees, I love that God uses the circumstances I'm in now to teach me more about who He is and who He’s created me to be. I was thinking this morning about the freedom I felt before I was pregnant to eat what I wanted to without giving it a second thought. It was so different then. Whatever I consume now not only affects me, but the growing and developing little life inside of me. It’s my responsibility to eat healthy so that my baby can eat healthy. I drink lots of water, I take my vitamins, and I go for my walks. It’s not that I get excited to do those things, but I know it’s what I need to do. Don’t get me wrong-- I love my cupcakes too. (Oooooh, especially when they just come out of the oven…and they smell so good that you’re willing to suffer 2^nd degree burns just to bite into one at that very moment. And after you do burn your entire mouth, you still think it was so worth it and go back for 2 more. Oh…you wait for them to cool off? Umm..yeah, me too.) Anyways, my mindset overall has definitely changed. After being aware of what I should and shouldn’t eat or do, the decisions have become more second nature to me and I have a new sense of responsibility.

That is how I long to be with my relationship with Jesus! I am not living for myself. There’s so much junk in the world that is readily and easily consumable. But just because my flesh wants to say or do or consume something, doesn’t mean I should allow it to! Jesus Christ lives inside of me. I am a new creation! My flesh has died and I now live a life of holiness. And what I consume, what I watch and what I say, affects my relationship with Him. As overwhelming as it can be to navigate through the negativity, immorality and self-gratification of our culture, Jesus longs for us to live a life of hope, purity and contentment! He has given us the Holy Spirit not only to guide us through this maze of a world, but to convict us about the things that we need to purge of. Even the “little” things in our lives matter. The movies we watch, the music we listen to, the words we speak, the actions we take, the thoughts we meditate on and the reasons behind our motives. Everything affects us whether we realize it or not. Jesus abundantly gives holy things for us to consume so that we will be more like Him. And sometimes (ok, most of the time) that means that we have to deny the flesh and clean out our lives so that His life and can easily flow into us. The choice is ours and we must make it daily. 

Lamentations 3:22 & 23 says, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

So this week, may we be aware of everything we are consuming and consider getting rid of some of the things we know are not beneficial in our relationship with God. The more of God and His Word we consume, the more evident it becomes that what the world offers if bland and temporary, but living a Christ-filled life is eternal…and tastes like a sweet, delicious cupcake! Be blessed, my friend! I declare my God as faithful! 

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103

Rejoicing in Noes

I find it interesting that when I ask God for a clear answer about something, I usually get discouraged when I hear “No”. Or even harder to hear is, “You have to wait.” I usually try to add a little gray into the black and white answer I eagerly ask for. “So Lord, does ‘no’ mean just not at this second? Are you going to change your mind this afternoon? Because I have to tell ya, I need an answer on this soon.” Since when did receiving the answer I don’t want to hear become an irrelevant answer? Do I really mean what I’m asking for in my prayers? This little fact about myself has been eye opening to say the least!

My husband & I are currently considering buying a house. We have seen numerous houses. In each house, I always love to envision where I would put our dining room table, which room the baby’s room would be & think about the bbq parties we would have with friends in the back yard. Of the many houses we’ve seen, we’ve only liked 2 enough to give an offer. (And just a side note: Whoever told me that it’s the buyers market right now has definitely not tried to buy in our area. Wowzers! I feel like I’m a little tadpole in a tank of sharks right now!) Anyways, we put an offer on a house about 2 weeks ago. After we submitted all the paperwork we needed to, there seemed to be one hold up after the other on the broker’s side. I asked God to give me His peace & a confidence to know that He knew what was best for us & that any hold up would not effect whether or not this house was supposed to be ours.  And boy, did I feel that. My confidence didn’t have to do with the amount of our offer or the fact that we were the first bid. That really doesn’t guarantee anything in the house-buying world I’ve learned. But I had this overwhelming peace that I’ve had many times before. I grabbed a rock from beside the driveway & decided I would put it on our countertop at home. I told Jarred that whenever we looked at that rock, we were going to claim our house & thank God for it. I don’t think he was necessarily on the same page as I was, because his response was, “Whether or not we get this house, this rock represents that God knows what’s best for us.” What was he thinking!? I had a peace & confidence that God knew what He was doing, so obviously that meant this house was my house. A few days later, Jarred called me from work & told me that we didn’t get the house. I could have just passed out on the floor from shock. All I could think was, “But my rock…it’s right here.” After my initial shock & a few tears, my husband reminded me what that rock really represented & that we had been praying for God’s answer about the house…not a yes. Oh snap. That’s right!

So this past week I’ve been more aware as I pray & ask God for His answer or direction about anything. And I’m keenly aware of the words I’m praying when I say “Your will be done.” When you ask for that second one & mean it, buckle up because you never know what’s going to happen. I think the most rewarding & spiritually growing times in my life, even though sometimes difficult, have happened when I jump wholeheartedly into that statement. But I’ve never regretted those times. Ever. However, even after experiencing it firsthand, my flesh instinctively wants to test the waters again & again before I jump.

So I’ve decided I will no longer pray for God’s will when I know I’m just trying to hear the answer I want. I will first readjust my view, refocus my heart & realize that His best for my life is not always what I want at that moment. I have many, many, many examples of that in the past. Yet, I still need reminding. Thank you, Lord for reminding me…again. So all of this to say, I am so grateful for my “noes” in life. They are just as beautiful as my “yeses”. If I truly want to be plugged into God’s will, I will be thankful for each guided step & rejoice in every answer He gives me. He is always good to His children & I declare my God as faithful! 

In The Still Of My Heart

I was doing some cleaning yesterday afternoon to prepare for a visit from my sister & baby nephew. It’s always when I know I’ll be having company that I will dust everywhere (yes, even the places you can’t see) and finally decide where to put that stack of mail that has collected in the corner.

As I was finishing up in the kitchen I looked on top of my refrigerator & stared at the hospital bands that I was required to wear the night we lost our first baby. For months they remained on my counter where I could see & touch them every day. I didn’t want to throw them away or hide them. I don’t know why, but they have remained precious, tangible objects that have reminded me of the physical & emotional pain of that night. I could touch them & hold them in my hand when I needed to. And it brought comfort & connection to me. I didn’t want to get rid of them because I didn’t want to forget anything. Now I know I will never forget. How could I? But for a while it was a very real fear for me to think that the memory of that night or our baby would fade or that people would forget about our baby’s life. Those bands symbolized that for me. So getting rid of them would mean that what happened didn't mattered. It terrified me. After a couple of months, I deliberately moved them from my counter to the top of the refrigerator. It was a step towards further healing for me. I knew they were there. If I needed to look at them or hold them, I could. But they were further away. And for the past 5 months, that’s where they have remained.

So yesterday, as I fixated my eyes on them, I began crying. Not out of sorrow, but out of remembrance. And I knew & felt that it was time. Not to discard them, but to tuck them away somewhere special, just like that night & our baby will always be a very real, precious part of me. So I did just that. And I realized something. That piece of my heart is no longer an excruciating, open wound. My God started bandaging it the moment that loss began. He personally tended to it in the quiet nights where I laid in bed sobbing, crying out to Him, wrapped in my husband’s arms. Even though it was painful, there were multiple times that my God changed those bandages & cleaned out the wound, because that’s what it needed. And yesterday, as I tucked those hospital bands away where they will remain from now on, I knew that the wound I have felt for 7 months has now become a beautiful scar. I realize that the healing that Jesus Christ has given me does not diminish the memory of our baby or minimize the significance & importance of that life-changing night. It just means that my God is faithful to walk with me through the dark valley & will restore me always. He is close to the broken-hearted & faithful to His Children. His peace is beyond what we can fathom. His love is deeper than we’ll ever know.

Thank you, Father for my beautiful scar. Enjoy loving on our sweet baby. We look forward to the time when we will be reunited & can do it ourselves. I declare You as faithful, my God, Savior & Comfort.

And as another testament to God’s faithfulness & for those of you who may not know, I am 6 ½ months pregnant with a little girl. We are naming her Raelyn which comes from the name Rachel in the Bible. It means “God’s lamb of beauty”. And oh my goodness, yes she is. 

Unmerited Favor

Dear sweet friend,


Guess what?!?


God's love and grace for you is deeper than the ocean!!

Sometimes we can read over a sentence like that and say to ourselves, "Yes, I know that…" but let that statement sink in for a second.


God's perfect love FOR YOU and His abundant grace FOR YOU is deeper than your mind can even fathom! It's freely given and given abundantly. Isn't that incredible? 

God's grace, no matter how you feel at this moment, is enough! It's so easy to get overwhelmed and hope that God's grace, if stretched and pulled really thin, will cover this huge thing in our lives. We may not verbalize it like that out loud, but if we'll be honest with ourselves, I think we might agree that sometimes that's how we feel deep down. But a more accurate description would be like dropping our grain-of-sand-circumstance into the the never-ending-ocean-of-God's-grace and hoping that the grace-water will cover it! Does that make sense?


His grace is enough. Not almost enough. Not sometimes enough. Not barely enough. Not enough only if you deserve it. Not enough for that woman but not for you. His grace is enough.


You are covered, my friend! You and your life are completely submerged in His grace.


2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.


Be encouraged precious one! You are loved passionately and eternally by Almighty God!!


I declare my God as faithful!

It's Love

God is love.
 

I think it's important to know how the Word defines love because that's also describing the very heart of our God.

I Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us,

Love...
Is patient.

Is Kind.
Doesn't envy.
Doesn't boast.
Isn't proud.
Doesn't dishonor others.
Not self-seeking.
Not easily angered.
Doesn't keep a record of wrongs.
Doesn't delight in evil.
Rejoices with the truth.
Always protects.
Always trusts.
Always hopes.
Always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Love gave His perfect Son to die for a sinful, dirty world, to redeem & to restore it.

God is love.

Simple words, complex statement.

A couple weeks ago I had the beautiful opportunity to watch my sister give birth to my first nephew. Then I was able to spend the first week & a half of his life with him. I've always thought the process of labor was a miraculous & wonderful thing, but when I actually saw our little man enter the world & take his first breath, it was life changing.

I've loved that boy from the moment I found out my sister was pregnant with him. And when I got to hold him for the first time, hear him use his voice for the first time & actually get to see his perfect face & body…WOW! My heart was so jam-packed full of love & passion, it almost hurt.

That baby didn't say or do anything to make me love him. He hasn't done anything to deserve all the love & affection that's directed to him from everyone in our family except belong to us. And if I am a flawed, sinful human that can love like that, how much more does our perfect & holy God love His children? There is nothing we said or did to make God love us. There is nothing we can say or do to make Him love us more or less. That love is established & it's eternal. We can't move it, shake it or destroy it. Ever. His love for us is so passionate & pure that He made the ultimate sacrifice to save us from being separated from Him. It was our sin & our choices that threatened that connection. But our loving God gave His Son was crucified so that our connection with God could be restored & we can spend eternity in His presence. That is love.

I love you like crazy, baby Daniel. But your God loves you even more! And dear friend, your God is crazy in love with you too! There is nothing you can say or do to deserve His love…or lose it. Pretty good deal, right?

I declare my God as oh-so-faithful!!

Faithful & Just

Hello friend! Spring-like weather has been teasing us for the past week. And now, a snowstorm is headed this way. I am soaking up every ray of sunshine & every ounce of warmth I can. It sure has me excited for picnics & hikes when winter is REALLY over! But as soon as that storm hits, I know I will be in awe of its beauty. I may not like the cold, but I sure love the snow. (Explain the logic in that one.) I hope you are well. I sure love you.

Routines are sometimes hard break & habits are even harder to retrain. It may take me just a moment to mess things up, but I'll tell you what…I can beat myself up about it for a LONG time. I have the endurance of a marathon runner when it comes to remembering certain mistakes I've made. Even when I've genuinely repented for what I've done & I "know" I've been forgiven…my flesh likes to remind me. My flesh likes to keep me in a state of regret & embarrassment. My flesh likes to keep me IN THE PAST. As a result, my PRESENT is eaten away by memories & reminders of what once was. And most of the time, the energy & emotion that I use to beat myself up about that "thing" impacts me more than the actual mistake itself!

Sometimes looking into the past can bring healing & enlightenment. It can free us from bondage of things that have happened to us or around us. But besides looking back for those reasons, it's usually not for the best.

Jesus has been showing me something incredible. It's not about my mistake. It's about my heart & choice NOW. And when He says He has forgiven me, HE HAS FORGIVEN ME. Period. That's it. End of story. He doesn't bring it up my mistakes to make me feel guilty or remind me of how inadequate I am. He doesn't use it to show me how unworthy I am to have good things in my life. That isn't the heart of my Savior.

Psalm 103:11 & 12, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

He doesn't hold mistakes over my head or withhold good things from me because I'm imperfect. My imperfections are nothing new to Him. And the beautiful part?? He's never expected me to be perfect. He doesn't demand me to handle every situation perfectly without any mess ups or mistakes. He cares about my heart. When my heart is in line with His, THAT is what matters. So why do I beat myself up over & over & over when I mess up? It's the enemy. He knows that the forgiveness that Jesus brings is FAR MORE POWERFUL than any mess up or mistake I could ever make. When we confess & repent of our sins, Christ erases that thing immediately!

Acts 3:19, "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,"
  
If the enemy can keep us in that state of regret, we won't live in the fulness & abundant life that God has provided for us. When we settle into that cycle of focusing on the mistake not the forgiveness, we're really missing something. We're missing the beautiful message of the price & sacrifice that was made so that our sins could be forgiven. God sent His precious, perfect & innocent Son to die on the cross for our sins…yet we still dwell on the sins that have been forgiven? Do we believe that Jesus' blood was enough? If so, do we live like it is?
 
John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
 
What if we could really grasp onto the truth that Jesus' rejoices when we repent; He doesn't hold it against us? What if we lived that?

Thank you, Jesus for the abundant life that You've made available to us! May we live in it, dwell on it & share it with others! You are faithful & good. I've made mistakes & will continue to. But with all my heart, I want to live a righteous, holy life & focus on the beauty of Your forgiveness, not my failures! In every circumstance, in every day, Your grace is sufficient for me.

Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Be blessed my friend! I declare my God as faithful!