Every aspect of my life has been changed by Christ. His free gift of salvation has saved me. My heart, once empty, is now overflowing with true joy and beats with passion for my Savior.
I think it's important to know how the Word defines love because that's also describing the very heart of our God.
I Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us,
Love...
Is patient.
Is Kind.
Doesn't envy.
Doesn't boast.
Isn't proud.
Doesn't dishonor others.
Not self-seeking.
Not easily angered.
Doesn't keep a record of wrongs.
Doesn't delight in evil.
Rejoices with the truth.
Always protects.
Always trusts.
Always hopes.
Always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Love gave His perfect Son to die for a sinful, dirty world, to redeem & to restore it.
God is love.
Simple words, complex statement.
A couple weeks ago I had the beautiful opportunity to watch my sister give birth to my first nephew. Then I was able to spend the first week & a half of his life with him. I've always thought the process of labor was a miraculous & wonderful thing, but when I actually saw our little man enter the world & take his first breath, it was life changing.
I've loved that boy from the moment I found out my sister was pregnant with him. And when I got to hold him for the first time, hear him use his voice for the first time & actually get to see his perfect face & body…WOW! My heart was so jam-packed full of love & passion, it almost hurt.
That baby didn't say or do anything to make me love him. He hasn't done anything to deserve all the love & affection that's directed to him from everyone in our family except belong to us. And if I am a flawed, sinful human that can love like that, how much more does our perfect & holy God love His children? There is nothing we said or did to make God love us. There is nothing we can say or do to make Him love us more or less. That love is established & it's eternal. We can't move it, shake it or destroy it. Ever. His love for us is so passionate & pure that He made the ultimate sacrifice to save us from being separated from Him. It was our sin & our choices that threatened that connection. But our loving God gave His Son was crucified so that our connection with God could be restored & we can spend eternity in His presence. That is love.
I love you like crazy, baby Daniel. But your God loves you even more! And dear friend, your God is crazy in love with you too! There is nothing you can say or do to deserve His love…or lose it. Pretty good deal, right?
Hello friend! Spring-like weather has been teasing us for the past week. And now, a snowstorm is headed this way. I am soaking up every ray of sunshine & every ounce of warmth I can. It sure has me excited for picnics & hikes when winter is REALLY over! But as soon as that storm hits, I know I will be in awe of its beauty. I may not like the cold, but I sure love the snow. (Explain the logic in that one.) I hope you are well. I sure love you.
Routines are sometimes hard break & habits are even harder to retrain. It may take me just a moment to mess things up, but I'll tell you what…I can beat myself up about it for a LONG time. I have the endurance of a marathon runner when it comes to remembering certain mistakes I've made. Even when I've genuinely repented for what I've done & I "know" I've been forgiven…my flesh likes to remind me. My flesh likes to keep me in a state of regret & embarrassment. My flesh likes to keep me IN THE PAST. As a result, my PRESENT is eaten away by memories & reminders of what once was. And most of the time, the energy & emotion that I use to beat myself up about that "thing" impacts me more than the actual mistake itself!
Sometimes looking into the past can bring healing & enlightenment. It can free us from bondage of things that have happened to us or around us. But besides looking back for those reasons, it's usually not for the best.
Jesus has been showing me something incredible. It's not about my mistake. It's about my heart & choice NOW. And when He says He has forgiven me, HE HAS FORGIVEN ME. Period. That's it. End of story. He doesn't bring it up my mistakes to make me feel guilty or remind me of how inadequate I am. He doesn't use it to show me how unworthy I am to have good things in my life. That isn't the heart of my Savior.
Psalm 103:11 & 12, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
He doesn't hold mistakes over my head or withhold good things from me because I'm imperfect. My imperfections are nothing new to Him. And the beautiful part?? He's never expected me to be perfect. He doesn't demand me to handle every situation perfectly without any mess ups or mistakes. He cares about my heart. When my heart is in line with His, THAT is what matters. So why do I beat myself up over & over & over when I mess up? It's the enemy. He knows that the forgiveness that Jesus brings is FAR MORE POWERFUL than any mess up or mistake I could ever make. When we confess & repent of our sins, Christ erases that thing immediately!
Acts 3:19, "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out," If the enemy can keep us in that state of regret, we won't live in the fulness & abundant life that God has provided for us. When we settle into that cycle of focusing on the mistake not the forgiveness, we're really missing something. We're missing the beautiful message of the price & sacrifice that was made so that our sins could be forgiven. God sent His precious, perfect & innocent Son to die on the cross for our sins…yet we still dwell on the sins that have been forgiven? Do we believe that Jesus' blood was enough? If so, do we live like it is? John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." What if we could really grasp onto the truth that Jesus' rejoices when we repent; He doesn't hold it against us? What if we lived that?
Thank you, Jesus for the abundant life that You've made available to us! May we live in it, dwell on it & share it with others! You are faithful & good. I've made mistakes & will continue to. But with all my heart, I want to live a righteous, holy life & focus on the beauty of Your forgiveness, not my failures! In every circumstance, in every day, Your grace is sufficient for me.
Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
Be blessed my friend! I declare my God as faithful!
You look absolutely lovely. Let's do this more often. No more long breaks...I miss you too much.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continual words of encouragement, love & support! I've felt blessed beyond words to have you in my life. Jesus has continued to comfort our hearts & be ever so present to us. I am in awe of His faithfulness & have experienced it deeper than I ever had. The husband & I are looking forward to a relaxing Christmas break together. There's just something about siting in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate & watching the snow fall outside that brings so much joy to us. And every time it snows this week, I plan on doing just that. I know this time of the year brings it's own hustle & bustle. During this season especially, one can feel a little…spread thin. There are numerous plans to make, countless ways to execute them all & at the end of the day…did I even feed the dog? Life is wearing! Well, it has the POTENTIAL to become wearing. I've noticed that when I feel like I'm in more of a tornado than a moment, I try to muster strength from anywhere inside of me. And the more I try to muster, the more my fuel tank is completely on E. I mean we're talking "I've been driving around all day running errands & now I've driven 24 miles on empty, please Jesus get me & this car home!" empty.
It is not a good feeling! Can I get an amen?? I know how tired you are girl, so I'll just take a wink if you have it in you!
This deep down tiredness doesn't just come once a year. It can be an ongoing battle. I can't tell you how many moms I see running their sons to soccer practice, then their daughters to ballet, then off to their school to help with a batch of homemade brownies for a fundraiser. And that's all before lunch! Let's not even get started with the list of house chores & church commitments! I'm convinced these woman have capes tucked underneath their sweaters. Super. Moms. But I know that the flesh can only run that fast for so long before…BAM. Facedown, unconscious, in the hill of dirty laundry.
Or my dear sweet, college girls. Sleep, free time & healthy eating are foreign concepts. Finals, exams & all-nighters are consider curse words. Four years of books, study groups & penciling in tiny, little circles on dreaded tests. (Just a side note…If you don't study, professors still don't think it's creative or amusing if you fill those circles in to make the shape of horse. Not even the ones that own a horse. Go figure.) As great of a time as it can also be, college can equal exhaustion. I remember times when I'm pretty sure I fell asleep with my eyes open staring at a computer screen. After I finally came to, I couldn't account for the previous 4 days. I wasn't starving & was wearing different clothes, so I'm pretty sure muscle memory kicked in at that point. Oh the good ol' days.
Be encouraged my friend! The strength that is inside of you isn't your own. It doesn't come from within your worn out & exhausted self! It's always renewing, always plentiful & always yours for the taking. The world can keep their 5Hour Energy shots & extra large frappy foamy coffee drinks! We have a Creator that is everlasting & all powerful, who pours His strength directly into us! Stay submerged in His word & you'll stay swimming in His strength & power.
Isaiah 40:28-31 says,
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, & his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary & increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired & weary, & young men stumble & fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Praise God! Your sails may feel tattered, but your boat is not going down! The waves will toss & turn, but they can only sway your boat, they can't move it. Your Anchor is firm. Thank you Jesus, for Your strength & for allowing us to live in it. I declare my God as faithful!
Sweet, sweet friend. My heart is so heavy as I write this to you. I feel like it has been forever since we've spoken. I've missed you & have thought about you often.
The first part of my absence was morning sickness. A few months ago my husband & I found out that we were pregnant with our first sweet baby. I can't express to you the excitement & joy that was in our hearts every moment of the day. Just as I was exiting my first trimester, I began to miscarry on Oct 1st. By the end of the night, everything was done & over. The ER doctors repeatedly told me how well my body was doing. Sometimes the ugly process can take days. I can't imagine that. As blessed as I feel to not have needed any surgical or major medical intervention, the toil it has taken on my body & my heart has left me hurting badly for the last few weeks. So along with this note, I ask for you to agree with me in prayer-- I'm asking Jesus to restore my body 100%. I'm doing much better this week physically. Thank you, Lord. My heart will ache forever. I know that. But I'm so glad that when this heartbreaking moment came, I felt Jesus stronger than I ever have. He didn't leave. He was overwhelming there in the midst of the doctors, nurses & ultrasound technicians. To me, His presence was stronger than theirs. There's so much more I want to share with you, but as of this moment, this is all my heart can handle. I love you dear friend.
I would like to share a note with you that I wrote to our close friends & family the day after I lost my baby. I share this with you because I hope to express how much comfort & love the Lord has shown us. Some of you have already read this. Maybe a couple of you haven't. So I'm including this for you. I want the glory of my Savior to shine, even when the storm clouds are painfully thick. Here it is:
The JOY of the Lord is my STRENGTH. I know this more now than ever before. It's now become tangible to me. Last night, Jarred & I lost our sweet baby. In the midst of all the physical & emotional pain, the tears & all the uncertainty, we felt the presence of God in the ER room. We are still feeling His presence in our quiet home today. My precious husband was right at my side speaking nothing but LIFE, AFFIRMATION & ENCOURAGEMENT over me the entire time; even though I know he was scared & grieving himself. THANK YOU JESUS, for my godly, sweet, supportive husband. I love him so much. As he was supporting me, my aunt & uncle patiently waited & supported us both for hours & hours in the waiting room; what a net of support & love Jarred & I felt just knowing they were there. They are the definition of what FAMILY should be.
Even as we felt violently tossed through wave after wave of heartache & pain, The PEACE of God that SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING was heavily present in us. Having Christ as our Savior; knowing that His heart was aching with us & for us; changed this night from a tragedy to a CELEBRATION. A celebration because our baby is with our Heavenly Father & our Heavenly Father is with us. And as sad as we are & as the tears & heartache haven't ceased, we know...our God gives BEAUTY FOR ASHES.
Your love & support is so appreciated. I DECLARE MY GOD AS FAITHFUL!
They are one of the hardest things to tame; faster & more powerful than an angry, raging river. They can bring life or death in a matter of mere seconds, but surprisingly enough, they’re used without caution & usually treated as if they’re harmless.
Have you guessed what I’m talking about??
Oh yes, I’m talking about our words. Isn’t it incredible how something you can’t see or hold in your hand can be given so quickly & has the power to change the very being of person? Whether we like it or not, we can be transformed in either a positive or negative way just by what is said to us. This is a scary realization considering how many people just spew words whenever they see fit.
Has someone ever said something that offended you? Before you know it, you feel your blood start to boil, your face gets red, your stomach starts to knot up & your hands get shaky. Does it sound like I’m describing these symptoms from experience? I must confess, I have said my share of hurtful things. Usually it wasn’t said straight out. I’d make sure I let it simmer & fester inside my heart for a while until I physically couldn’t take it anymore. At this point I would do one of two things. I would either never speak to that person again, but continue to have overwhelming hurt or anger towards them (thank you, passive aggressiveness.) Or I would verbally blow up on the person...and...never talk to them again. So usually it ended the same way. I stayed hurt & I never spoke to the person again. This wasn’t a common occurrence in my life, but even once is too many times.
Like most people, I have been on both the receiving & giving end of words. I have received hurtful words. I have given hurtful words. I have received words that gave my soul life. I have given words that gave life.
It wasn’t until after I was married that I began to understand how powerful & potentially life-changing our words are. I began to view my speech & the speech of others very, very differently. I became acutely aware of what I was saying & what others were saying. I noticed how quickly I wanted to give my opinion, share my side of a story or carelessly give advice. Whatever easily flowed off my tongue is what was shared. How foolish. The verse that first caught my eye & really began to sink into my soul on this matter was Matthew 12:36:
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.”
Did you notice that is says “careless” not “intentionally hurtful” or “malicious”? Every careless word we speak, we will be held accountable for. We are responsible for every word that isn’t given with thought & consideration BEFORE we say them. I know sometimes it’s easy to justify what we say by thinking, “They asked for my opinion, so I gave it to them” or “Well, they wanted the truth, so I told them.” Who in the world do we think we are that our opinions are so great or right anyways? And do we really think that when we spew words out of our mouths that it will for sure be the truth? Our hearts by their very nature are evil. So if we are quickly & carelessly sharing the first thing that comes from our hearts, we're playing with fire.
Proverbs 13:3 says, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”
Proverbs 29:20, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”
When it comes to saying something or giving advice (even when it's asked for) God has dramatically changed my thought process. Oh sure, I mess up & still say things that I wish I could grab mid-air and cram back into my mouth. But as I have continued to meditate on these verses & ask God to help me be slow to speak & quick to listen & love, it’s amazing how (most of the time) my first instinct is to think, not speak. There have been countless times that I have had to pause after hearing something that has upset me or frustrated me, because an emotion (jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc) would rise up in me. I would realize that whatever was about to come out of my mouth, was out of evil & wasn't from Jesus. So as I would feel these emotions, I invited Jesus into that part of my heart that was stirring up ugly thoughts & words & asked Him to bring healing & forgiveness to those areas. Soon, I noticed that when I paused & considered where my words were about to come from, the words that my flesh would want to say was put to death immediately & I would either say nothing at all, or speak only life. Wow. It’s so encouraging to see how God transforms us if we actively & willfully allow change to happen. Praise Jesus!
Do you have a Negative Nancy in you life? I have a few. Some of you may live with one. Or maybe you work with an entire office of them. Some of you have a Negative Dave in your life. It’s quite impressive how their words can get me from “YAY YAY YAY!!” to “Wow, I feel so depressed” in minutes. Their spirits are like overwhelming, black clouds that just hang around. They can stick to you like the superest of super glues. I’ll ask her how dinner was & her response is, “It was alright. I just hope I don’t get bad indigestion. Because then I’ll be up all night, I’ll be completely wiped out tomorrow & won’t get anything done. Then I’ll have double the amount of work to do the next day. It’ll just be awful & then this dinner really will not have been worth it!” Wow. I just meant did I use enough salt, but ok. Or if I’m in town with Negative Nancy & ask her for an aspirin because I have a headache starting, she’ll say, “Oh gee, I sure hope it doesn’t turn into a migraine! You’ll be hurting for hours...possibly days! Then you’re vacation will have to be cancelled! And if it doesn't go away soon, I think you should go into the emergency room to make sure there’s not something horribly wrong with your brain!” No. It’s just a headache...and you’re not making it any better, lady. I try to strongly limit how much time I'm around personalities like hers. But sometimes, being around them is inevitable.
Some of the greatest hurt that I’ve experienced has been from "christian" women with sly, crafty, backhanded compliments & remarks that were infused with their own jealousy & hurt. When they don’t get their way, they skillfully try to manipulate me to make me feel guilty, worthless or accuse me of having a poor heart & attitude. What a sad state of mind to live in! And it’s just as miserable to be around someone like that! They literally suck the life out of the people around them. They’re words are usually said out of fear, anger, hurt or judgment. So really this isn’t an issue of just “speaking words”, is it. It’s a matter of the heart. But there’s good news! Jesus came to clean & save our hearts!
Luke 6:45 reminds us, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
I’ve heard that for every negative thing said to you, you have to hear at least 10 other positive things just to counteract it! Boy oh boy, after being around a Negative Nancy for even a few hours, you need to jump into an entire ocean of life-giving words & just soak in there for weeks!
In my high school & college years I vividly remember that I would feel depressed for weeks at a time for seemingly no reason. Then, the cloud would dissipate & I’d be “good” for another month or so. The second I felt that cloud come back, it was so easy to just give into it. But as I started to learn that I needed to live joyfully without waiting to “feel” joyful, it revolutionized my life. I also sought godly counsel & surrounded myself with positive, life-giving people to walk with me through the healing process of the hurt, pain & lies I'd received. During this process, if I felt that cloud start forming, I chose to push through, declare God as faithful & speak life in those moments. What happened was amazing! The actual emotion of joyfulness began to pour into my heart & it truly began to overwhelm me even greater than the depression that it replaced ever had! Our words can bring life. Or death. It can bring joy. Or anguish.
Have you heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.” That is absolutely true!
Proverbs 11:12 says, “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”
If your first reaction is to “blaaaaaaaaa”, ask the Lord to show you the parts of your heart that you’ve kept closed off to Him & that cause you to feel like those words need to be said. Go to the source. Your heart.
Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Proverbs 12:18, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Colossians 3:8, “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
When we stop & think about it, we have a great responsibility to everyone around us! We have the ability to speak death over them, OR we can build them up & speak life over them! There’s no way of sugar coating that. It’s life or death. There’s no in-between.
So which kind of word-giver are you? You can be a "good" person & still be speaking death to the people around you. Can we consciously begin to be aware of our words & what the motivation is behind them? Let's be honest with ourselves & God. Become quick to listen & love & talk to Jesus before you speak. Jesus is right there to walk with you through it all. He wants to see you cleaned out so that you can pour HIS life on others! I declare my God as faithful!
Dear, dear friend. Have I told you lately that I love you & think you’re incredibly, awesomely, fabulously great? Well, I do! There’s extreme passion & urgency in this message to you! And girl, when I’ve got this feeling down in my soul, you’ll be here for a while! Grab a yummy drink or snack & let’s share some time together.
YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.
When you hear that statement, does it resonate truth in your soul?
Or do you shrug it off because that’s just a “nice comment” that you feel isn’t really true?
Do you make comments to counter act that statement? “Well that’s nice of you to say, but you should see my sister...SHE’S beautiful.” “Thanks, but I really hate the way my hair looks.” “Oh, not really. I need to lose some weight.”
I have to wonder what it does to God’s heart when His intricately woven masterpiece says that about herself. I’m sure it doesn’t make His heart happy when His perfection & creativity is critiqued & belittled. So if it doesn’t make Him happy, doesn’t that mean it makes Him sad? Have you ever thought about how it affects God when you put yourself down? I know that this realization sure changed my thinking. It’s felt like quite a long, difficult journey...but my God is faithful & never left me. I was never “too much” for Him to handle. From the day He created me in my mother’s womb, He’s been showing me & telling me how beautiful I am. But only recently was I willing to listen & believe Him.
How would our hearts be healed if we started loving what we call “imperfections” & “quirks” the way that Jesus does? Or AT LEAST start appreciating His handiwork? One of us might not like the color of our eyes. But have you ever stopped to think about the design of those eyes? Go to a mirror & admire them for a minute. (Disclaimer: Please don’t admire them WHILE you’re curling your lashes. You might not pay attention to how hard you’re curling them, loose a few dozen & have an awkward bald spot in the middle of your left lid. I know that it sounds like I’m talking from experience...and frankly, I’d prefer not to discuss that right now. So let’s just focus...) Look closely at your pupils, iris, & all the little patterns, speckles & shades of colors that compose the outside of those eyeballs. They are beautiful, aren’t they? I think they’re spectacular. They aren’t just lovely on the outside, they are ingeniously designed on the inside. Let me tell you just a few things about your magnificent peepers:
*Your eyes are the most complex organs you possess except for your brain
*Your eyes are composed of more than 2 million working parts
*Your eyes can distinguish 500 shades of the gray
*Your retina contains 120 million rods for "night vision" & 8 million cones that are color sensitive & work best under daylight conditions
*Your eyes contribute towards 85% of your total knowledge
Isn’t that incredible? How can we be so critical of the colors or shapes of our eyes when we know just a fraction about the intricacy of how your Creator made them?
Unfortunately though, it’s quite easy to feel inadequate or lacking. And we criticize. We complain. We grumble about our chunky thighs, our fluffy tummies & our lack of defined calf muscles. Even in the “best” shape of my life, I wasn’t content or happy with what I saw. My definition of beauty was based off of lies. What I had been told, was a lie. And thanks to the media & Hollywood, we are constantly bombarded by images of thin, tall, “perfect” women. But those women don’t even look like that! Thanks to photo editing & airbrushing, our culture’s standards of beauty can be digitally, but falsely reached. Again, it’s all a lie. Our emotions are being abused so that we will buy something. Our sense of self-worth is put into question, so we will sign up for the “trendy” diet or exercise program. Our sexuality is demoralized & perverted because we’re supposed to be promiscuous if we want to be sexy. And for those of us who are married...we DO want to be sexy for our husbands! We want to be beautiful to the world & valued by our friends & family. So what’s a girl to do? Buy that mascara? Sign up for that diet program that will “fix” us? Read that magazine so we can learn about all the things we’re doing wrong in the world’s eyes? NO! NO! NO! Don’t let the world dictate what you will do with your body or how you should feel about it.
Romans 12:1-2 says, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
I used to measure my value & beauty by how much food I could withhold from myself. And when a few people caught on that I wasn’t eating much, or if I did “give in” & eat something, there were times I resorted to throwing it up. Of course I couldn’t rationalize it then, but now I see it for the addiction, ugliness & bondage it was. I felt in control & disciplined if I could keep from eating for days at a time. I associated a completely empty, hurting stomach with skinniness...and skinniness with beauty. And if I could exercise excessively everyday, that was even better. I would have no energy & would black out during those workouts, but that was just part of the deal. Even as a young child, I remember hearing hurtful comments from relatives & completely internalizing them. Those comments were said out of ignorance by people who had been hurt themselves, but my heart was injured nonetheless. On top of already feeling sub-par going into college, my obsession was almost encouraged by unhealthy relationships I had in my life. I was thanked by my boyfriend because he thought it was a compliment that I’d want to look so good around him & that I thought he deserved someone “better”. I was completely shattered one day when my friend & I were at the gym working out. She had recently discovered my obsession with food. I was working out with a large group of my guy friends, when she felt the need to walk over to me, lift her shirt to expose her defined, toned abs & say, “I’m getting so fat, Heather. Maybe I should just stop eating like you do.” I was numb for a few minutes. I couldn’t believe what I had heard & how matter-of-fact & emotionless she said it. I thought we were friends. I thought we were close. I felt embarrassed, angry & totally betrayed. It literally broke my heart. Looking back now, I have abundant compassion for her. I can see how she was just a hurt, insecure girl who’s mom was constantly trying to live through her. She was harshly judged, unfairly ridiculed, and told on a daily basis that she never did anything right. The only thing she thought she could use in life, was her body. Even her “friends” talked about her behind her back. She had no loyalty or support in her life. Now, I see how she showed so much insecurity in the form of backhanded compliments, but I couldn’t see it then. She & I weren’t that different after all.
Thinking back, I don’t even know who I was. But Jesus did. And He patiently & loving walked with me through that oh-so-dry season. I wasn’t ugly. The lies were! The enemy used people who were insecure themselves, to pass judgement & hurt to me. Please let me make one thing very clear. I don’t bring up my past so that you feel sorry for me, or to blame others, or to even acknowledge the negative things. I bring it up as a testimony of where I came from & how I’ve been freed & restored! Those people aren’t the enemy. Satan is. And I thank Jesus with all my heart that I was in physical bondage for only about 2 years. I know some women stay imprisoned their entire lives. And although this is something I always have to keep in check emotionally, I truly have been set free!
With all the changing trends, who on earth could keep up with it all anyways? Being tall is “in”...now being ultra-thin is “in”...now “curvy” shapes are “in”...now being short is “in”. ARE YOU KIDDING? There are no standards that Jesus put on our bodies. Yes, we need to take care of them & glorify Him with them. Yes, we need to be healthy. However, I try to be in shape, but the fluff on my fabulous hips aren’t going anywhere. And that’s just fine! He calls me His beautiful daughter.
I Corinthians 6:19-20, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
So if I “know” this, then why is so hard to be content & so easy to complain? Two words: the enemy. He will do anything he can to make you feel without worth or beauty. He will use anyone to put you down, say hurtful things to you & treat you unfairly. If you feel worthless, you won’t grab hold of the revelations of how GOD HIMSELF CREATED YOU & HAS DESTINED YOU FOR GREATNESS; EVERY INCH OF YOUR BODY HAS BEEN MADE BY THE SAME GOD WHO CREATED THE UNIVERSE. As women, we were created to be & feel beautiful. The way we talk, the way we walk, the way we impact the lives of people around us...is supposed to be beautiful. But if distractions about our physical appearance can keep us from seeing things with eternal value, the enemy’s plan is working.
The same evening that I wanted to share this with you, I came across a video. I was searching for something completely unrelated, however I know this was a God thing. I think it’s a great visual. Even when we feel like unimpressive, clumps of sand, if we let God move in & through us & we allow His ways to be our ways, something beautiful happens. That lump of salt becomes breathtaking as it truly comes to life.
Knowing that you are beautiful is important. And if you’re dealing with mental, emotional or physical bondage, that’s real too. I’m not trying to minimize that. I am however, questioning who’s definition of beauty we’re referring to. Have you ever talked with Jesus & just poured out all the ugliness you feel about yourself? I highly encourage you to do so. He knows how we feel anyways, so we might as well be honest with Him. After you spend as much time as you need sharing your heart, whether it’s minutes, hours or weeks, ask God to speak His truth over you. Ask Him to tell you how HE feels about you. Ask Him if He thinks you’re beautiful. Don’t just half-heartedly ask Him, then think since He created you, He HAS to think you’re beautiful. Ask Him to tell your heart & to let it sink into the very core of your being. Let Him show you. I promise He desperately wants to! Let Him change how you view yourself, your body, & your beauty. One of the biggest factors in my healing, was through support & godly counsel from women in my church. Please find someone that will keep you accountable & give you godly wisdom & advice. Local churches usually offer this service for free. If they don’t, they can point you in the right direction.
Take every unholy thought captive, dear friend. Once we do that, there will be less & less room for the enemy’s lies & MORE & MORE room for holy affirmations, compliments & refreshment in our hearts & minds. Let Him show you that you are the CROWN OF HIS CREATION. As we start to grasp that...no power in hell can stop the healing we’ll receive, the impact we will have on the people around us & on God’s Kingdom!
This is one of my favorites. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."
I’ve walked through my desert of questioning my worth & beauty. But Jesus has made me into a beautiful, new creation. And I declare my God as faithful!
Oh friend. Is it just me, or does the sky seem bluer & the birds seem chirpier when you’ve got The Joy deep down in your soul? I’m telling ya. I could just breathe in this mountain air all day long. Well, I guess I have to in order so stay alive, but I could just intentionally breathe in this thin, clean, mountain air all day. *Ahhhh* As I was sitting out & enjoying Jesus & the weather, I saw a huge hawk circling in the sky. And this tiny, little, black bird was swooping all around it trying to give it subtle kidney jabs as warnings to stay away. Ok, it wasn’t subtle, this black bird had a mission. The hawk kept flying in circles, more annoyed than anything. But eventually Mr. Hawk got high enough that he wasn’t seen as a threat anymore and the little black bird went back to his own neighborhood. At one point, the hawk started circling fairly low, but directly above me. I could see all the colors and patterns of it’s feathers. The sun was shining straight down on him & the light was going through his feathers to reveal all the little details that I couldn’t have seen otherwise. I had a pretty neat view, to say the least. How graceful he was. I called my husband outside because I thought it was absolutely magnificent. Every time it would fly right over us, I let out a “Ohhhhh WOW!” or a “OHHH! Look at that!” He just gave me this little smile. I recognized it from previous times. It’s the smile I get when I start screaming for him to come kill a HUGE spider and it turns out to be sock fuzz. Or when I climb on the counter because I saw a mouse run across the kitchen...and it turns out to be a dust bunny. Oh how I wish I was exaggerating right now. Anyways, he pretended like he wasn’t as impressed with that hawk as I was, but deep down, I’m sure he was crying over the beauty and majesty of it all. I’m sure of it.
So that was the excitement of my day. My month in Colorado has been active and exciting as well! I’ve been hiking a few times. Let me tell you all about it. Last weekend, my uncle took my husband & I on a 4 mile hike. He's a seasoned hiker & has conquered five 14ers so far. I used to hike all the time and I’m falling back in love with it. It was intensely wonderful. I’m sure it was an easier hike for the avid hikers out there...but to me...it was...quite the workout. At times, we were trekking over huge rocks. A few minutes later, we were walking across fine sand. There were a few trails that were so narrow, I had to make myself focus on my feet, not the scenery. I tend to daydream a lot & sometimes, it’s not the right time to do so. I think I felt my guardian angle nudge me back on to the trail a few times as I started to wander off. Which wandering wasn’t a good thing at that point. Wandering off that trail meant rolling down the side of a mountain. It would have just made for a bad day, ya know? I mean sure, in theory, it seems like it’d be fun. Maybe I’d learn I’m a good extreme-cart wheeler. Or perhaps I’m really good at the “tuck & roll” position. I guess we’ll never know. Thanks common sense, for sucking all the enjoyment out of that thought. There were a few times when my husband would turn around and give me a thumbs up to see if I was doing ok. I learned really quick not to answer, “Yep. Doin' good. I didn’t almost fall off that cliff at all. Nope. And definitely not twice.” After that, I just gave a thumbs up. He seemed happier and less stressed when I answered that way.
There were times to focus on the trail. And there were times to look around at the scenery. This is where I feel like I’m at in life. Sometimes I want nothing else than to look around, enjoy the view & prematurely reap the benefits of my endurance & consistency on a grueling hike. But there are certain seasons that I’m noticing are more of “Stick to it, keep going, keep pushing forward even though you want to look up & enjoy the view. The time isn’t now” sort of seasons. And there are other seasons that are “Enjoy the scenery, take it in, be thankful & enjoy the results of your endurance.” I like those seasons. Actually, I LOVE those seasons. Those are nice. And pretty. But I’ll tell ya, I have more of the first kind than the second. I suppose one big hurdle for me right now is getting my last 1 1/2 years of schooling done. Like I've said before, I'm definitely the kind of person that takes the scenic route, not the direct route. As great as that is most of the time, I've got to admit, it makes staying motivated a lot harder since I have to keep working longer for one goal. I wish I could just snap my fingers & it’d be done. But that didn’t happen when I tried it just now. I just felt silly. In those seasons of keeping myself motivated, focused and determined, I learn the most. In times like that, God tends to show me things I say I know, but I don’t REALLY know. It’s easy to stick with something for a day or a week. But after months & months of the same routine and challenges, I get pretty sick of it. But thank You, Lord that we don’t have to rely on our own strength or feel-good emotions to accomplish our goals! When our strength is gone, it’s no big deal...He’s made perfect in our weakness. When we feel discouraged, that’s ok...we have a God who renews us daily and pours His encouragement on us. I’m so grateful that I serve a God that gives me what I’m lacking...which is everything. We’re right, we can’t do it. Not on our own anyways. So spend some time thanking Jesus for this season you’re in. Whether you’re taking in the beauty of the scenery from on top of your mountian, or you’re focused on the trail so you don’t fall off the mountain, give Jesus the glory for it all! We aren’t alone. We will never be alone. I declare my God as faithful!
