He Gives Strength

Dear dear friend,

You look absolutely lovely. Let's do this more often. No more long breaks...I miss you too much.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continual words of encouragement, love & support! I've felt blessed beyond words to have you in my life. Jesus has continued to comfort our hearts & be ever so present to us. I am in awe of His faithfulness & have experienced it deeper than I ever had.
 
The husband & I are looking forward to a relaxing Christmas break together. There's just something about siting in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate & watching the snow fall outside that brings so much joy to us. And every time it snows this week, I plan on doing just that.
 
I know this time of the year brings it's own hustle & bustle. During this season especially, one can feel a little…spread thin. There are numerous plans to make, countless ways to execute them all & at the end of the day…did I even feed the dog? Life is wearing! Well, it has the POTENTIAL to become wearing. I've noticed that when I feel like I'm in more of a tornado than a moment, I try to muster strength from anywhere inside of me. And the more I try to muster, the more my fuel tank is completely on E. I mean we're talking "I've been driving around all day running errands & now I've driven 24 miles on empty, please Jesus get me & this car home!" empty.

It is not a good feeling! Can I get an amen?? I know how tired you are girl, so I'll just take a wink if you have it in you!

This deep down tiredness doesn't just come once a year. It can be an ongoing battle. I can't tell you how many moms I see running their sons to soccer practice, then their daughters to ballet, then off to their school to help with a batch of homemade brownies for a fundraiser. And that's all before lunch! Let's not even get started with the list of house chores & church commitments! I'm convinced these woman have capes tucked underneath their sweaters. Super. Moms. But I know that the flesh can only run that fast for so long before…BAM. Facedown, unconscious, in the hill of dirty laundry.

Or my dear sweet, college girls. Sleep, free time & healthy eating are foreign concepts. Finals, exams & all-nighters are consider curse words. Four years of books, study groups & penciling in tiny, little circles on dreaded tests. (Just a side note…If you don't study, professors still don't think it's creative or amusing if you fill those circles in to make the shape of horse. Not even the ones that own a horse. Go figure.) As great of a time as it can also be, college can equal exhaustion. I remember times when I'm pretty sure I fell asleep with my eyes open staring at a computer screen. After I finally came to, I couldn't account for the previous 4 days. I wasn't starving & was wearing different clothes, so I'm pretty sure muscle memory kicked in at that point. Oh the good ol' days.

Be encouraged my friend! The strength that is inside of you isn't your own. It doesn't come from within your worn out & exhausted self! It's always renewing, always plentiful & always yours for the taking. The world can keep their 5Hour Energy shots & extra large frappy foamy coffee drinks! We have a Creator that is everlasting & all powerful, who pours His strength directly into us! Stay submerged in His word & you'll stay swimming in His strength & power.

Isaiah 40:28-31
 says,

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? 
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He will not grow tired or weary, & his understanding no one can fathom. 
He gives strength to the weary & increases the power of the weak. 
Even youths grow tired & weary, & young men stumble & fall; 
but those who hope in the LORD 
will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary, 
they will walk and not be faint."

Praise God! Your sails may feel tattered, but your boat is not going down! The waves will toss & turn, but they can only sway your boat, they can't move it. Your Anchor is firm. Thank you Jesus, for Your strength & for allowing us to live in it. I declare my God as faithful!

Beauty for Ashes

Sweet, sweet friend. My heart is so heavy as I write this to you. I feel like it has been forever since we've spoken. I've missed you & have thought about you often.

The first part of my absence was morning sickness. A few months ago my husband & I found out that we were pregnant with our first sweet baby. I can't express to you the excitement & joy that was in our hearts every moment of the day. Just as I was exiting my first trimester, I began to miscarry on Oct 1st. By the end of the night, everything was done & over. The ER doctors repeatedly told me how well my body was doing. Sometimes the ugly process can take days. I can't imagine that. As blessed as I feel to not have needed any surgical or major medical intervention, the toil it has taken on my body & my heart has left me hurting badly for the last few weeks. So along with this note, I ask for you to agree with me in prayer-- I'm asking Jesus to restore my body 100%. I'm doing much better this week physically. Thank you, Lord. My heart will ache forever. I know that. But I'm so glad that when this heartbreaking moment came, I felt Jesus stronger than I ever have. He didn't leave. He was overwhelming there in the midst of the doctors, nurses & ultrasound technicians. To me, His presence was stronger than theirs. There's so much more I want to share with you, but as of this moment, this is all my heart can handle. I love you dear friend.

I would like to share a note with you that I wrote to our close friends & family the day after I lost my baby. I share this with you because I hope to express how much comfort & love the Lord has shown us. Some of you have already read this. Maybe a couple of you haven't. So I'm including this for you. I want the glory of my Savior to shine, even when the storm clouds are painfully thick. Here it is:

The JOY of the Lord is my STRENGTH. I know this more now than ever before. It's now become tangible to me. Last night, Jarred & I lost our sweet baby. In the midst of all the physical & emotional pain, the tears & all the uncertainty, we felt the presence of God in the ER room. We are still feeling His presence in our quiet home today. My precious husband was right at my side speaking nothing but LIFE, AFFIRMATION & ENCOURAGEMENT over me the entire time; even though I know he was scared & grieving himself. THANK YOU JESUS, for my godly, sweet, supportive husband. I love him so much. As he was supporting me, my aunt & uncle patiently waited & supported us both for hours & hours in the waiting room; what a net of support & love Jarred & I felt just knowing they were there. They are the definition of what FAMILY should be.

Even as we felt violently tossed through wave after wave of heartache & pain, The PEACE of God that SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING was heavily present in us. Having Christ as our Savior; knowing that His heart was aching with us & for us; changed this night from a tragedy to a CELEBRATION. A celebration because our baby is with our Heavenly Father & our Heavenly Father is with us. And as sad as we are & as the tears & heartache haven't ceased, we know...our God gives BEAUTY FOR ASHES.

Your love & support is so appreciated. I DECLARE MY GOD AS FAITHFUL!

Life or Death - Your choice.

They are one of the hardest things to tame; faster & more powerful than an angry, raging river. They can bring life or death in a matter of mere seconds, but surprisingly enough, they’re used without caution & usually treated as if they’re harmless.

Have you guessed what I’m talking about??

Oh yes, I’m talking about our words. Isn’t it incredible how something you can’t see or hold in your hand can be given so quickly & has the power to change the very being of person? Whether we like it or not, we can be transformed in either a positive or negative way just by what is said to us. This is a scary realization considering how many people just spew words whenever they see fit.

Has someone ever said something that offended you? Before you know it, you feel your blood start to boil, your face gets red, your stomach starts to knot up & your hands get shaky. Does it sound like I’m describing these symptoms from experience? I must confess, I have said my share of hurtful things. Usually it wasn’t said straight out. I’d make sure I let it simmer & fester inside my heart for a while until I physically couldn’t take it anymore. At this point I would do one of two things. I would either never speak to that person again, but continue to have overwhelming hurt or anger towards them (thank you, passive aggressiveness.) Or I would verbally blow up on the person...and...never talk to them again. So usually it ended the same way. I stayed hurt & I never spoke to the person again. This wasn’t a common occurrence in my life, but even once is too many times.

Like most people, I have been on both the receiving & giving end of words. I have received hurtful words. I have given hurtful words. I have received words that gave my soul life. I have given words that gave life.

It wasn’t until after I was married that I began to understand how powerful & potentially life-changing our words are. I began to view my speech & the speech of others very, very differently. I became acutely aware of what I was saying & what others were saying. I noticed how quickly I wanted to give my opinion, share my side of a story or carelessly give advice. Whatever easily flowed off my tongue is what was shared. How foolish. The verse that first caught my eye & really began to sink into my soul on this matter was Matthew 12:36:

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.”

Did you notice that is says “careless” not “intentionally hurtful” or “malicious”? Every careless word we speak, we will be held accountable for. We are responsible for every word that isn’t given with thought & consideration BEFORE we say them. I know sometimes it’s easy to justify what we say by thinking, “They asked for my opinion, so I gave it to them” or “Well, they wanted the truth, so I told them.” Who in the world do we think we are that our opinions are so great or right anyways? And do we really think that when we spew words out of our mouths that it will for sure be the truth? Our hearts by their very nature are evil. So if we are quickly & carelessly sharing the first thing that comes from our hearts, we're playing with fire.

Proverbs 13:3 says, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

Proverbs 29:20, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

When it comes to saying something or giving advice (even when it's asked for) God has dramatically changed my thought process. Oh sure, I mess up & still say things that I wish I could grab mid-air and cram back into my mouth. But as I have continued to meditate on these verses & ask God to help me be slow to speak & quick to listen & love, it’s amazing how (most of the time) my first instinct is to think, not speak. There have been countless times that I have had to pause after hearing something that has upset me or frustrated me, because an emotion (jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc) would rise up in me. I would realize that whatever was about to come out of my mouth, was out of evil & wasn't from Jesus. So as I would feel these emotions, I invited Jesus into that part of my heart that was stirring up ugly thoughts & words & asked Him to bring healing & forgiveness to those areas. Soon, I noticed that when I paused & considered where my words were about to come from, the words that my flesh would want to say was put to death immediately & I would either say nothing at all, or speak only life. Wow. It’s so encouraging to see how God transforms us if we actively & willfully allow change to happen. Praise Jesus!

Do you have a Negative Nancy in you life? I have a few. Some of you may live with one. Or maybe you work with an entire office of them. Some of you have a Negative Dave in your life. It’s quite impressive how their words can get me from “YAY YAY YAY!!” to “Wow, I feel so depressed” in minutes. Their spirits are like overwhelming, black clouds that just hang around. They can stick to you like the superest of super glues. I’ll ask her how dinner was & her response is, “It was alright. I just hope I don’t get bad indigestion. Because then I’ll be up all night, I’ll be completely wiped out tomorrow & won’t get anything done. Then I’ll have double the amount of work to do the next day. It’ll just be awful & then this dinner really will not have been worth it!” Wow. I just meant did I use enough salt, but ok. Or if I’m in town with Negative Nancy & ask her for an aspirin because I have a headache starting, she’ll say, “Oh gee, I sure hope it doesn’t turn into a migraine! You’ll be hurting for hours...possibly days! Then you’re vacation will have to be cancelled! And if it doesn't go away soon, I think you should go into the emergency room to make sure there’s not something horribly wrong with your brain!” No. It’s just a headache...and you’re not making it any better, lady. I try to strongly limit how much time I'm around personalities like hers. But sometimes, being around them is inevitable.

Some of the greatest hurt that I’ve experienced has been from "christian" women with sly, crafty, backhanded compliments & remarks that were infused with their own jealousy & hurt. When they don’t get their way, they skillfully try to manipulate me to make me feel guilty, worthless or accuse me of having a poor heart & attitude. What a sad state of mind to live in! And it’s just as miserable to be around someone like that! They literally suck the life out of the people around them. They’re words are usually said out of fear, anger, hurt or judgment. So really this isn’t an issue of just “speaking words”, is it. It’s a matter of the heart. But there’s good news! Jesus came to clean & save our hearts!

Luke 6:45 reminds us, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

I’ve heard that for every negative thing said to you, you have to hear at least 10 other positive things just to counteract it! Boy oh boy, after being around a Negative Nancy for even a few hours, you need to jump into an entire ocean of life-giving words & just soak in there for weeks!

In my high school & college years I vividly remember that I would feel depressed for weeks at a time for seemingly no reason. Then, the cloud would dissipate & I’d be “good” for another month or so. The second I felt that cloud come back, it was so easy to just give into it. But as I started to learn that I needed to live joyfully without waiting to “feel” joyful, it revolutionized my life. I also sought godly counsel & surrounded myself with positive, life-giving people to walk with me through the healing process of the hurt, pain & lies I'd received. During this process, if I felt that cloud start forming, I chose to push through, declare God as faithful & speak life in those moments. What happened was amazing! The actual emotion of joyfulness began to pour into my heart & it truly began to overwhelm me even greater than the depression that it replaced ever had! Our words can bring life. Or death. It can bring joy. Or anguish.

Have you heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.” That is absolutely true!

Proverbs 11:12 says, “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”

If your first reaction is to “blaaaaaaaaa”, ask the Lord to show you the parts of your heart that you’ve kept closed off to Him & that cause you to feel like those words need to be said. Go to the source. Your heart.

Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Proverbs 12:18, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Colossians 3:8, “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”

When we stop & think about it, we have a great responsibility to everyone around us! We have the ability to speak death over them, OR we can build them up & speak life over them! There’s no way of sugar coating that. It’s life or death. There’s no in-between.

So which kind of word-giver are you? You can be a "good" person & still be speaking death to the people around you. Can we consciously begin to be aware of our words & what the motivation is behind them? Let's be honest with ourselves & God. Become quick to listen & love & talk to Jesus before you speak. Jesus is right there to walk with you through it all. He wants to see you cleaned out so that you can pour HIS life on others! I declare my God as faithful!

Beauty Restored

Dear, dear friend. Have I told you lately that I love you & think you’re incredibly, awesomely, fabulously great? Well, I do! There’s extreme passion & urgency in this message to you! And girl, when I’ve got this feeling down in my soul, you’ll be here for a while! Grab a yummy drink or snack & let’s share some time together.
 

YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.
 

When you hear that statement, does it resonate truth in your soul?
 

Or do you shrug it off because that’s just a “nice comment” that you feel isn’t really true?
 

Do you make comments to counter act that statement? “Well that’s nice of you to say, but you should see my sister...SHE’S beautiful.” “Thanks, but I really hate the way my hair looks.” “Oh, not really. I need to lose some weight.”
 

I have to wonder what it does to God’s heart when His intricately woven masterpiece says that about herself. I’m sure it doesn’t make His heart happy when His perfection & creativity is critiqued & belittled. So if it doesn’t make Him happy, doesn’t that mean it makes Him sad? Have you ever thought about how it affects God when you put yourself down? I know that this realization sure changed my thinking. It’s felt like quite a long, difficult journey...but my God is faithful & never left me. I was never “too much” for Him to handle. From the day He created me in my mother’s womb, He’s been showing me & telling me how beautiful I am. But only recently was I willing to listen & believe Him.
 

How would our hearts be healed if we started loving what we call “imperfections” & “quirks” the way that Jesus does? Or AT LEAST start appreciating His handiwork? One of us might not like the color of our eyes. But have you ever stopped to think about the design of those eyes? Go to a mirror & admire them for a minute. (Disclaimer: Please don’t admire them WHILE you’re curling your lashes. You might not pay attention to how hard you’re curling them, loose a few dozen & have an awkward bald spot in the middle of your left lid. I know that it sounds like I’m talking from experience...and frankly, I’d prefer not to discuss that right now. So let’s just focus...) Look closely at your pupils, iris, & all the little patterns, speckles & shades of colors that compose the outside of those eyeballs. They are beautiful, aren’t they? I think they’re spectacular. They aren’t just lovely on the outside, they are ingeniously designed on the inside. Let me tell you just a few things about your magnificent peepers:


*Your eyes are the most complex organs you possess except for your brain

*Your eyes are composed of more than 2 million working parts

*Your eyes can distinguish 500 shades of the gray

*Your retina contains 120 million rods for "night vision" & 8 million cones that are color sensitive & work best under daylight conditions

*Your eyes contribute towards 85% of your total knowledge
 

Isn’t that incredible? How can we be so critical of the colors or shapes of our eyes when we know just a fraction about the intricacy of how your Creator made them?
 

Unfortunately though, it’s quite easy to feel inadequate or lacking. And we criticize. We complain. We grumble about our chunky thighs, our fluffy tummies & our lack of defined calf muscles. Even in the “best” shape of my life, I wasn’t content or happy with what I saw. My definition of beauty was based off of lies. What I had been told, was a lie. And thanks to the media & Hollywood, we are constantly bombarded by images of thin, tall, “perfect” women. But those women don’t even look like that! Thanks to photo editing & airbrushing, our culture’s standards of beauty can be digitally, but falsely reached. Again, it’s all a lie. Our emotions are being abused so that we will buy something. Our sense of self-worth is put into question, so we will sign up for the “trendy” diet or exercise program. Our sexuality is demoralized & perverted because we’re supposed to be promiscuous if we want to be sexy. And for those of us who are married...we DO want to be sexy for our husbands! We want to be beautiful to the world & valued by our friends & family. So what’s a girl to do? Buy that mascara? Sign up for that diet program that will “fix” us? Read that magazine so we can learn about all the things we’re doing wrong in the world’s eyes? NO! NO! NO! Don’t let the world dictate what you will do with your body or how you should feel about it.
 

Romans 12:1-2 says, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
 

I used to measure my value & beauty by how much food I could withhold from myself. And when a few people caught on that I wasn’t eating much, or if I did “give in” & eat something, there were times I resorted to throwing it up. Of course I couldn’t rationalize it then, but now I see it for the addiction, ugliness & bondage it was. I felt in control & disciplined if I could keep from eating for days at a time. I associated a completely empty, hurting stomach with skinniness...and skinniness with beauty. And if I could exercise excessively everyday, that was even better. I would have no energy & would black out during those workouts, but that was just part of the deal. Even as a young child, I remember hearing hurtful comments from relatives & completely internalizing them. Those comments were said out of ignorance by people who had been hurt themselves, but my heart was injured nonetheless. On top of already feeling sub-par going into college, my obsession was almost encouraged by unhealthy relationships I had in my life. I was thanked by my boyfriend because he thought it was a compliment that I’d want to look so good around him & that I thought he deserved someone “better”. I was completely shattered one day when my friend & I were at the gym working out. She had recently discovered my obsession with food. I was working out with a large group of my guy friends, when she felt the need to walk over to me, lift her shirt to expose her defined, toned abs & say, “I’m getting so fat, Heather. Maybe I should just stop eating like you do.” I was numb for a few minutes. I couldn’t believe what I had heard & how matter-of-fact & emotionless she said it. I thought we were friends. I thought we were close. I felt embarrassed, angry & totally betrayed. It literally broke my heart. Looking back now, I have abundant compassion for her. I can see how she was just a hurt, insecure girl who’s mom was constantly trying to live through her. She was harshly judged, unfairly ridiculed, and told on a daily basis that she never did anything right. The only thing she thought she could use in life, was her body. Even her “friends” talked about her behind her back. She had no loyalty or support in her life. Now, I see how she showed so much insecurity in the form of backhanded compliments, but I couldn’t see it then. She & I weren’t that different after all. 



  
Thinking back, I don’t even know who I was. But Jesus did. And He patiently & loving walked with me through that oh-so-dry season. I wasn’t ugly. The lies were! The enemy used people who were insecure themselves, to pass judgement & hurt to me. Please let me make one thing very clear. I don’t bring up my past so that you feel sorry for me, or to blame others, or to even acknowledge the negative things. I bring it up as a testimony of where I came from & how I’ve been freed & restored! Those people aren’t the enemy. Satan is. And I thank Jesus with all my heart that I was in physical bondage for only about 2 years. I know some women stay imprisoned their entire lives. And although this is something I always have to keep in check emotionally, I truly have been set free!
 

With all the changing trends, who on earth could keep up with it all anyways? Being tall is “in”...now being ultra-thin is “in”...now “curvy” shapes are “in”...now being short is “in”. ARE YOU KIDDING? There are no standards that Jesus put on our bodies. Yes, we need to take care of them & glorify Him with them. Yes, we need to be healthy. However, I try to be in shape, but the fluff on my fabulous hips aren’t going anywhere. And that’s just fine! He calls me His beautiful daughter.
 

I Corinthians 6:19-20, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

So if I “know” this, then why is so hard to be content & so easy to complain? Two words: the enemy. He will do anything he can to make you feel without worth or beauty. He will use anyone to put you down, say hurtful things to you & treat you unfairly. If you feel worthless, you won’t grab hold of the revelations of how GOD HIMSELF CREATED YOU & HAS DESTINED YOU FOR GREATNESS; EVERY INCH OF YOUR BODY HAS BEEN MADE BY THE SAME GOD WHO CREATED THE UNIVERSE. As women, we were created to be & feel beautiful. The way we talk, the way we walk, the way we impact the lives of people around us...is supposed to be beautiful. But if distractions about our physical appearance can keep us from seeing things with eternal value, the enemy’s plan is working.
 

The same evening that I wanted to share this with you, I came across a video. I was searching for something completely unrelated, however I know this was a God thing. I think it’s a great visual. Even when we feel like unimpressive, clumps of sand, if we let God move in & through us & we allow His ways to be our ways, something beautiful happens. That lump of salt becomes breathtaking as it truly comes to life. 

Knowing that you are beautiful is important. And if you’re dealing with mental, emotional or physical bondage, that’s real too. I’m not trying to minimize that. I am however, questioning who’s definition of beauty we’re referring to. Have you ever talked with Jesus & just poured out all the ugliness you feel about yourself? I highly encourage you to do so. He knows how we feel anyways, so we might as well be honest with Him. After you spend as much time as you need sharing your heart, whether it’s minutes, hours or weeks, ask God to speak His truth over you. Ask Him to tell you how HE feels about you. Ask Him if He thinks you’re beautiful. Don’t just half-heartedly ask Him, then think since He created you, He HAS to think you’re beautiful. Ask Him to tell your heart & to let it sink into the very core of your being. Let Him show you. I promise He desperately wants to! Let Him change how you view yourself, your body, & your beauty. One of the biggest factors in my healing, was through support & godly counsel from women in my church. Please find someone that will keep you accountable & give you godly wisdom & advice. Local churches usually offer this service for free. If they don’t, they can point you in the right direction.
 

Take every unholy thought captive, dear friend. Once we do that, there will be less & less room for the enemy’s lies & MORE & MORE room for holy affirmations, compliments & refreshment in our hearts & minds. Let Him show you that you are the CROWN OF HIS CREATION. As we start to grasp that...no power in hell can stop the healing we’ll receive, the impact we will have on the people around us & on God’s Kingdom!
 

This is one of my favorites. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."
 

I’ve walked through my desert of questioning my worth & beauty. But Jesus has made me into a beautiful, new creation. And I declare my God as faithful!

Motivation On the Mountain

Oh friend. Is it just me, or does the sky seem bluer & the birds seem chirpier when you’ve got The Joy deep down in your soul? I’m telling ya. I could just breathe in this mountain air all day long. Well, I guess I have to in order so stay alive, but I could just intentionally breathe in this thin, clean, mountain air all day. *Ahhhh* As I was sitting out & enjoying Jesus & the weather, I saw a huge hawk circling in the sky. And this tiny, little, black bird was swooping all around it trying to give it subtle kidney jabs as warnings to stay away. Ok, it wasn’t subtle, this black bird had a mission. The hawk kept flying in circles, more annoyed than anything. But eventually Mr. Hawk got high enough that he wasn’t seen as a threat anymore and the little black bird went back to his own neighborhood. At one point, the hawk started circling fairly low, but directly above me. I could see all the colors and patterns of it’s feathers. The sun was shining straight down on him & the light was going through his feathers to reveal all the little details that I couldn’t have seen otherwise. I had a pretty neat view, to say the least. How graceful he was. I called my husband outside because I thought it was absolutely magnificent. Every time it would fly right over us, I let out a “Ohhhhh WOW!” or a “OHHH! Look at that!” He just gave me this little smile. I recognized it from previous times. It’s the smile I get when I start screaming for him to come kill a HUGE spider and it turns out to be sock fuzz. Or when I climb on the counter because I saw a mouse run across the kitchen...and it turns out to be a dust bunny. Oh how I wish I was exaggerating right now. Anyways, he pretended like he wasn’t as impressed with that hawk as I was, but deep down, I’m sure he was crying over the beauty and majesty of it all. I’m sure of it.

So that was the excitement of my day. My month in Colorado has been active and exciting as well! I’ve been hiking a few times. Let me tell you all about it. Last weekend, my uncle took my husband & I on a 4 mile hike. He's a seasoned hiker & has conquered five 14ers so far. I used to hike all the time and I’m falling back in love with it. It was intensely wonderful. I’m sure it was an easier hike for the avid hikers out there...but to me...it was...quite the workout. At times, we were trekking over huge rocks. A few minutes later, we were walking across fine sand. There were a few trails that were so narrow, I had to make myself focus on my feet, not the scenery. I tend to daydream a lot & sometimes, it’s not the right time to do so. I think I felt my guardian angle nudge me back on to the trail a few times as I started to wander off. Which wandering wasn’t a good thing at that point. Wandering off that trail meant rolling down the side of a mountain. It would have just made for a bad day, ya know? I mean sure, in theory, it seems like it’d be fun. Maybe I’d learn I’m a good extreme-cart wheeler. Or perhaps I’m really good at the “tuck & roll” position. I guess we’ll never know. Thanks common sense, for sucking all the enjoyment out of that thought. There were a few times when my husband would turn around and give me a thumbs up to see if I was doing ok. I learned really quick not to answer, “Yep. Doin' good. I didn’t almost fall off that cliff at all. Nope. And definitely not twice.” After that, I just gave a thumbs up. He seemed happier and less stressed when I answered that way.

There were times to focus on the trail. And there were times to look around at the scenery. This is where I feel like I’m at in life. Sometimes I want nothing else than to look around, enjoy the view & prematurely reap the benefits of my endurance & consistency on a grueling hike. But there are certain seasons that I’m noticing are more of “Stick to it, keep going, keep pushing forward even though you want to look up & enjoy the view. The time isn’t now” sort of seasons. And there are other seasons that are “Enjoy the scenery, take it in, be thankful & enjoy the results of your endurance.” I like those seasons. Actually, I LOVE those seasons. Those are nice. And pretty. But I’ll tell ya, I have more of the first kind than the second. I suppose one big hurdle for me right now is getting my last 1 1/2 years of schooling done. Like I've said before, I'm definitely the kind of person that takes the scenic route, not the direct route. As great as that is most of the time, I've got to admit, it makes staying motivated a lot harder since I have to keep working longer for one goal. I wish I could just snap my fingers & it’d be done. But that didn’t happen when I tried it just now. I just felt silly. In those seasons of keeping myself motivated, focused and determined, I learn the most. In times like that, God tends to show me things I say I know, but I don’t REALLY know. It’s easy to stick with something for a day or a week. But after months & months of the same routine and challenges, I get pretty sick of it. But thank You, Lord that we don’t have to rely on our own strength or feel-good emotions to accomplish our goals! When our strength is gone, it’s no big deal...He’s made perfect in our weakness. When we feel discouraged, that’s ok...we have a God who renews us daily and pours His encouragement on us. I’m so grateful that I serve a God that gives me what I’m lacking...which is everything. We’re right, we can’t do it. Not on our own anyways. So spend some time thanking Jesus for this season you’re in. Whether you’re taking in the beauty of the scenery from on top of your mountian, or you’re focused on the trail so you don’t fall off the mountain, give Jesus the glory for it all! We aren’t alone. We will never be alone. I declare my God as faithful!

The Time Is Now

My dear friend,

You are a treasure, you know that? I’ve been thinking so much about you during my move to Colorado. As I get into a new routine, learn the new routes to the new stores, I am so glad that you are my familiar face. (And may I add, it’s a gorgeous face.) You are my cozy, security blanket in this new, big world. And I’m so very thankful for you. The time we spend together is dear to me. I love working with you towards the same eternal goal. I long to encouraging you in any way that I can, because you encourage me so greatly. In my transition into the new & unknown, I’ve had some thoughts about what really matters. And I’d like to share them with you...

What would we do differently if we REALLY became eternity-minded? It is so, so easy for me to get caught up in the day-to-day routine of life. Laundry, dishes, errands, remembering to put deodorant on BOTH armpits. But what would happen if we grabbed hold of the truth that what we’re doing (or not doing) at this moment, will change the Kingdom of God? Would we be eager to share Jesus with the person we’ve been meaning to? Would be show more abundant love & grace to others? Would we mend our broken relationships with people? Would we ask someone for forgiveness for the hurtful things said and done on our part, even if we feel that we were greatly wronged by the other person? Would we not take offense so easily? Would this kind of mindset bring passion & meaning back into our lives?

And what would we be doing differently if we really lived like we believe Jesus is coming back? I know most of us have repeatedly heard, “Jesus could be coming back today!” But it’s absolutely true. What if we lived as if the realness of that statement was on our hearts and minds every day? I feel a movement happening inside of my heart; a shifting of priorities; a new realization of upcoming events. My spirit is stirring & so are the hearts & spirits of many, many others. I hear it in their words & I see it in a very tangible way through their selflessness and actions. I feel like we’re on the edge of something big; something that can’t be stopped. And today is a time of preparation. Preparation of our hearts. Preparation of our minds. Preparation of our bodies. I feel like we should be clothing ourselves not with fashions of this world, but with supernatural armor. Oh friend, the time is here. We are mighty warriors and it’s time to take our place & stand our ground in this battle. Make no mistake, regardless of whether or not we WANT to be a part of it, we are. The difference is the impact we’ll make. Will we close our eyes & just hope to pass through life unaware or un-phased of the dangers around us? That’s not going to happen. Or will we stand up and boldly claim our positions? We are daughters & sons of the Most High! There is no one stronger, greater, holier than our God. Do you believe it? We say it, but do we believe it? Has it seeped down into the marrow of our bones & to the core of our very being? Do you believe that you have a higher calling? You do, my friend! But not only have you been called, you have been given the armor and supplies you need to be victorious. God does not call us to something that He’s not also equipped us for. It’s all there. All we have to do is do it. The calling is there. The armor is there. The favor & anointing is there. And it’s ours for the taking! Let’s stand together in the greatness for which we’ve been created! It’s my honor to be a part of this adventure and journey with you! (And not to give away the ending... but we win.)

Romans 13:11&12 says, “And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.”

I watched the Left Behind movie for the first time last week. (Yes, for the first time. And no, I haven’t been living under a rock.) It really gave me a new sense of how real the return of Christ is going to be. The chaos and confusion will be heartbreaking. The return of Jesus WILL happen & we ARE called to join in the crusade. Every where we go; the supermarket, our schools, our workplaces, our churches; there are hurting, dying people in desperate need of Living Water & the Bread of Life. And guess who God Almighty has called to share it with them? You & me. What a privilege to be a part of shaping eternity. Wow.

God’s Kingdom is real. His promise are true. This battle is crucial. And we’re a part of it all.

1 Timothy 6:12, “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

Stand up & hold strong to your calling. The enemy will try to beat us down, shut us up & tempt us with comfortable routine. But we will not be defeated. We CAN NOT be defeated. We will not bury our heads in the sand. We will not take the path of least resistance.

May you boldly fight & stay passionate about the vital position you are assigned. I pray daily renewal and refreshment over your body, heart & mind.

1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

God be with you, my fellow warrior & friend. I declare our God faithful!

One Body

Friend! Friend! How I’ve missed you! After a whirl-wind month, the husband, doggy & I have officially relocated to Denver, Colorado where my husband is working for a mission’s organization. This move is just one more example of how good and how faithful our God is. Our time in New York was so precious. We were put in a position of completely relying on God. Financially, emotionally, spiritually. We had nothing without Him. It was a stretching & growing time. It hurt. Some days badly. It was uncomfortable. My flesh cried at times because I didn’t know what the next day held, but I was filled with hope and encouragement because I did know Who held the next day. The verse that says the joy of the Lord is my strength has penetrated my soul. I grew up singing it as a song, not really thinking about the meaning. It’s now become a verse that has “clicked”. I love when that happens! Our time in NY allowed us to purposefully rely on God’s goodness, promises and grace. I love standing under the heavenly showers of His love! It was a time of preparation to ready our hearts for what He has next for us. What an honor to be on an assigned journey where the Creator of all things, is right there beside us every step of the way. We don’t deserve it. But boy, do we accept and appreciate it! We have seen very detailed and specific cries of our hearts be answered in such a powerful way that it’s obvious it was ONLY God that could have heard us & taken detailed action on our behalf. Big things are happening & all glory goes to our God. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. We worship an active, living and all-powerful God who loves to work through us & bless us. Thank you, Jesus.

This will have been the 3rd time that we packed what we could fit in our car and moved cross-country. So I like to think of us as "seasoned professionals". One might think that very little could fit into a PT Cruiser. I beg to differ. When you marry a musician, packing the drums are a high priority. So I’ve learned to just go with it...I filled all the drums with clothes. No space wasted, I get me clothes, he gets his drums. And I’ve learned that leg room is over-rated. I’ve discovered how to strategically place books, pillows and small accessories around myself (No, I wasn't driving). Sure, it took 15 minutes for my husband to unbury me each time we stopped, but it worked. And let me tell you...it’s incredible the things you see when you drive cross-country in 2 days. (I could see out my window if I looked over the winter jackets and pillows.) Torrential downpours and tornado warnings in one state & a few hours later in a different state, total sunshine & dry roads. Oh yes...there was getting completely lost...in cornfields...at midnight...literally. No exaggeration there. (Sidenote: By 9pm in Adel, Iowa, EVERYTHING is closed. So if you need directions and your GPS isn't working, you'll be sad. However, the police dispatch are extremely kind & can navigate any lost commuter out of even the thickest of cornfields...even in the middle of the night.) Oh, what memories. I do have to tell you, my husband is the BEST road trip buddy though. We load up on snacks & hit the road. One hour later, his wife is terribly parched. Possibly to the point of tears. So he’ll pull over to a place that has iced tea and head back to the highway. Yes, tea’s not the best road trip drink, but that doesn’t matter. Then 2 hours later, that tea is trying to make a super quick escape, so of course, an urgent bathroom stop is desperately needed. What a patient (and really good looking) man. But as many wonderful things that we were able to see along the way, there are definitely a few bathroom stops I’d like to forget about. I don’t care if you’re bathroom is dirty, I’ll just go to a different one. But don’t advertise ‘clean restrooms’ when it’s a total and complete lie...and FYI, I think to be considered a "bathroom", it must have a toilet. False advertising if you ask me. Unfortunately, some images can never, ever be erased.

As we drove through state, after state, after state, I kept thinking about how big God truly is. It was so special to see all the churches along the way. So many different houses of worship. A little tiny chapel nestled in a wheat field. A huge stone church smack dab in the middle of a downtown. Fellow brothers and sisters that love our Lord. We don’t know their names or stories, but they are definitely there. And God’s working in their hearts, their hurts, their lives and communities. So awesome, isn’t it? Be encouraged. We aren’t alone.

I’ve seen how God is moving powerfully in my own church & community and how people’s lives are being changed. And it’s incredible to think that as personal as my God is to me, He’s just as personal and intimate in the lives of believers around the world. We truly are one body, with one Father.

Romans 12:4-6 says, “Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well...”

The little church in the wheat field will touch the lives of people that you & I will never meet here on earth. The huge stone church in a busy downtown is refuge for hurting people whose faces we will never see. I am so encouraged and appreciative for this visual I got as we traveled. It has stirred an excitement and longing in my heart to faithfully pray for my brothers & sisters. I pray for daily renewal of their hearts & minds. May their words not be their own, but straight from the mouth of God. May the people around them be healed & transformed by Jesus through acts of kindness, love and truth.

1 Corinthians 15:58, “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”

Nothing we do for the Lord is useless, whether it's a small act of kindness or a huge act of love. How encouraging! I pray that the people you & I come into contact with will be forever changed. I ask God to place a sensitivity inside each of us so that we can recognize how to love, help and serve others. May our actions and words towards others reflect their Maker’s love for them. You are precious, my friend and I love you.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 13:11-12, “Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet each other with Christian love.”

I declare God faithful.

Do You See Me

Sweet friend. I’m so excited to share this with you. My heart is experiencing something very intimate this week. My old self would have probably kept this inside, unsure if I should share it with others. But you & I are great friends & I love declaring my God as faithful, so I must tell you!

I’ve been having a very special conversation with Jesus. It’s lasted a few days so far. I have a feeling it will last a while longer. I have needed it so badly. All I had to do was talk and start the conversation, then listen; and share truthfully what’s on my heart, but I haven’t. I don’t think I’ve been a very good listener lately. I’ve been talking way too much. Anyways, it’s been one of those conversations that a little girl has with her daddy. “Do you like my dress? Do I look beautiful? Am I important?” So let me tell you how this conversation started...

Last Sunday at church, while singing some worship songs with my beautiful church family, I also began to pray. “With so many wonderful people in this world who truly love You, do I stand out? Are the things I’m doing really making a difference to You? Do You see me?” Now, I knew what the answer was. I know that I’m so precious to Jesus that He died for me. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. But I wasn’t really asking those questions, I guess. I think my heart just needed some affirmation from its Creator. But this is what my Savior does...He doesn’t just pour His comfort and love into me (which would have been more than enough). Oh, no. He did something incredible. As I opened my eyes from praying, I realized the light coming in from a nearby window was casting a shadow on the row in front of me. My shadow. It seemed strange because I had my husband to my close left & a friend to my right. But it was only casting my shadow. I could so clearly hear in my heart, “I see you. I delight in you.” I couldn’t help but to cry. I knew God was showing me this. He didn’t just tell me, He showed me. A minute or so went by and the light began pouring through all the colors of the stained glass window & a rainbow began to frame my shadow. It was beautiful. My heart was overwhelmed. My Lord cares so much that I know how unique & beautiful I am to Him, that He specifically showed me. It’s just what my spirit needed.

I wrote out some things I was feeling because I wanted to hear God’s voice in them. That’s the great thing about being in a relationship with God. When I talk, He answers. When I listen, He’s talking to me as well. Here are some of the things I’ve been crying out to my God, and also the things He’s sharing with me. I pray you are encouraged and find hope & excitement in it. This is a conversation He’s having with you too.


Do you see me in this crowd, Lord?

Am I beautiful to You?

Does my heart please You?

Do you laugh when I laugh? Do the things that make me cry, make You cry as well?

The darkness sometimes feels so heavy. I want to see Your light pierce through this prison.

The enemy is persistent. My strength is feeling inferior.


"My daughter whom I died for,

Oh yes, I see you. I saw you before any other eyes were captured by your beauty. I created your inmost being; I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). And even before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations (Jeremiah 1:5).

There is not a part of you that I don’t understand. There is not a piece of you that I do not love. There is not a hurt you have that I will not heal. I think about you; I’m with you every moment of every day; I see you. You are my masterpiece. I created you anew in Christ Jesus, so you can do the good things I planned for you long ago (Ephesians 2:10). I take delight in you with gladness. With my love, I will calm all your fears. I rejoice over you with joyful songs (Zephaniah 3:17).

I am so pleased with you when you do what you know is right (1 Peter 2:19). I don’t ask for perfection, I ask for willingness and obedience. Our relationship is an ongoing, always deepening one. It’s a journey. And I’m so pleased that you’re chasing Me.

When you laugh, My heart leaps. And when you cry, I want only to comfort you. I know there are times when your heart aches. I give you My true joy and peace. I am ever so close to you when you are brokenhearted and I will save you when you feel your spirit is crushed (Psalm 34:18). There is not a hole deep enough, or a darkness strong enough to keep Me from you. You are always in the palm of My hand. Nothing can change that. No one can take you from Me.

My light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome Me (John 1:5). You, dear daughter, are from God and have overcome them, because I am in you and I am greater than the one who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

Don’t rely on your own limited strength. You are not meant to. It is I who arm you with strength and keep your way secure (2 Samuel 22:33). Look to Me for My strength; seek My face always (1 Chronicles 16:11). I have already overcome the enemy. The victory is already yours."



Talk to your Savior about everything that’s going on in your heart. The pretty stuff, the ugly stuff, & everything in between. He’s listening & does not judge you when you're having a bad day. He has incredible things He wants to tell you & show you! You never have to wonder if He’s listening. He is. I declare Him faithful.

Those Two Words

Hello friend.

I’d like to think that I have a fairly decent vocabulary. However, I seem to have trouble with 2 words sometimes. They aren’t long words. There’s no tricky accent on them, nor do they require tongue twisting enunciation. These words are...

I’m sssssssss.

Let me try that again...

I’m soooooorrrrr.

Ok, this is more difficult than I expected. Here’s goes.

I’m sorrryyyyy.

Whew! There. I feel better. And it’s not necessarily that those words are impossible to say for me. When I miss someone’s phone call, those words flow beautifully off my lips. “Oh I’m sorry I missed your call. I’ve been talking to God in my prayer closet for the past 4 hours.” Ok, it doesn’t usually go that way. It’s more like, “I’m sorry I missed your call. I was blowdrying my hair and a large chunk of it got sucked into the backside of the dryer. And while I was trying to pull it out, I panicked and turned to unplug the thing and stubbed my toe. Smoke from my burned hair had filled the room so I couldn’t see anything and ran into the door, knocking me unconscious for the past 32 minutes. The good news is, I saved the dryer. The bad news is, I now have bangs.”

So really, “I’m sorry” isn’t hard for me to say. Until I really know it needs to be said...WITHOUT putting a “but”, “that” or “if” after it. “I’m sorry that you took it the wrong way.” “I’m sorry if you think I said that out of spite.” Or the classic, “I’m sorry for how I said it, but I’m not at all sorry for what I said.”

Yep. The I’m sorry without a but, that or if. What a challenge.

I have a friend who’s been through thick and thicker with me. We’ve been very close the last few years. Slowly but surely, little things this person would say & do would make me...well...angry. But did I tell them that? Was I honest to them? No, no, no. Don’t be silly. I just kept listening...and listening...and taking it in...and taking it personally...and letting it build...and build. All the while, I was smiling and nodding. My friend had NO IDEA that I had had it up to HERE with the bad attitude & empty talk. And how could they have known? I was SMILING. And NODDING. I didn’t want to have to deal with conflict or confrontation. But a girl gets to her breaking point eventually. You know what I’m saying. You’ve been there. You take it, and take it, and take it, then...SNAP! Your face gets flush, your heart start pounding, and then bllllaaaaaaaaaa. Out come some not-so-pretty things. “Oh sure, just because I’ve been smiling & agreeing with you about everything you’ve been saying throughout the latter part of our friendship, then all of the sudden I explode all over you, you think I’M crazy. Fine. Be that way.”

Or perhaps, you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum. Maybe you just don’t talk to this person anymore. Cut ties with them completely, or cut at least as many ties as you possibly can. And because I’m the balanced person I am...I did both. Out came the words. Then came my selective amnesia about their very existence. Ahhhhh, I felt better. Problem solved, right? Yeaaahh, nooooo. I would have flashes of memories pierce through my amnesia and I would allow myself to get all worked up. I just played the things this person did and said to me over, and over. It was awful. Months and months went by. Then the months turned into a year.

I thought that everything was said and done; it had become something that couldn’t be reversed. Of all the things this person had said and done to me. It was over. But then...my loving God began a work in my heart. I didn’t come straight to the conclusion that I needed to ask forgiveness from this person. I was on a gradual journey & my heart began going through a transformation that I can only explain as a God-change. I was craving God’s word constantly. I truly felt my relationship with Jesus deepening into something very special and real. Knowing that I wanted my heart to be cleaned out and made pure, I began to ask God to show me things that I could do in order to make things right with people so that my heart, motives and actions could line up with God’s heart. And of course, don’t ya know it...He began to show me people who I needed to apologize to.

Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” 
I love how The Message puts Psalm 139:23 & 24. “Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.” 

I knew swallowing my pride was going to be hard enough, but being genuine with my apology WITHOUT needing or requiring an apology from this person? I knew I couldn’t do it without tapping into God’s mercy and grace. And when we do that...WATCH OUT. I was overwhelmed with love for this person. I wrote out a very long apology and sent it off. I didn’t blame, accuse or point out my friend’s wrongdoings. Even if it had ended there, I experienced this incredible sense of joy in my heart from being obedient to God’s command in the situation. I don’t care how hard the situation is, when we’re obedient to God’s leading, there will be His joy in our souls. He has given full access to His love, mercy, grace. We can’t do it alone. We can’t love people like they are meant to be loved. We can’t pour abundant grace on everyone like is should be poured out. We can try to. But we’ll discover VERY quickly, it’s just not going to happen. And that’s ok. God wants us to plug our hearts into His. THAT is how it’s meant to be. Thank you, Jesus.

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” I can love them, pour grace out on them, give mercy to them THROUGH HIM.

So within a couple of days, this friend emailed back, expressing their heart & how they were sorry too & how we should just start fresh. What an additional blessing that they were so receptive! That’s not always the case though. But again, it’s ok. We are only required to be responsible for our own reactions and motives. If we are listening to God’s beautiful voice in our lives and being obedient to Him, we don’t have to worry about others’ responses or hearts. It’s not our place. We can however, pray that their hearts and lives long for God. Because as we all run after God and long for hearts like His heart, we will come to this mutual ground of love, understanding and mercy. Wow. I declare God as faithful. 

1 Chronicles 29:27, “I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you.”

Lose Your Control

Oh friend. The skies were so blue yesterday. And still today, I don’t see any snow in the park. It’s overcast and a little rainy but it’s actually very comforting. I’ve always loved heavy clouds and rain. It’s like a blanket to me. Even though the air is wet, it still has a touch of warmth to it. Mmmm. My coffee is especially delicious today.

My sweet little beagle has been barking up a storm. He was staring out the window & I could tell there was something out there that he was very excited about. When I looked out to see what it was, there I saw it...bouncing across the lawn in it’s furry gloriousness. A squirrel. I felt like barking out the window too! Well, for different reasons than my puppy. Spring is finally showing itself. It’s not bathing suit weather quite yet, but hey...I’ll take it. Actually, I don’t know why I act like get excited about “bathing suit season”. My bathing suit now consists of a tshirt and shorts that go down to my knees...and that’s if I’m just with my husband and feeling sassy. I jumped on the scale yesterday and realized that I’ve been VERY good about putting on my winter weight...or as I like to call it, “my insulation”. (All of the positive thinking that I’ve been doing to make sure I finish strong at the things I start has obviously been working. Well done, Heather. Well done. You deserve a cookie.) Anyway, I just long for long summer days to sit in the backyard with friends and watch my husband barbecue on the grill. But “barbecuing days” doesn’t sound as cute as “bathing suit season.” So that will be one of my codes when we talk. Glad we got that out there.

I was planning on having a little “surface talk” with you. But we’re closer than that. So I decided I won’t hold back. You love me regardless of my flaws, right? I sure hope you know I love you unconditionally too. You’re mess and flaws are FABULOUS. Can I just share something with you then? I know this may come as a surprise to you...but I HATE having to be patient. What’s even harder if having to be patient AND trusting God at the same time. I would much rather busy myself with details and actions I can take that help make me feel in control of my situation. Or if there’s nothing I can do to make myself feel like I’m controlling a part of the situation, I allow myself to get worked up, anxious & stressed.

Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” That verse is pretty straight forward. The first part of that verse is super easy for me to do; but resting in the fact of the second part, not so easy.

And I’ve noticed something that I’ve done a lot. I will pray and tell God that I trust Him & that I’m resting in Him, but my actions prove otherwise. I know God is in control, but living accordingly; there’s an issue there for me sometimes. If I say I know God’s holding my life & guiding my every step, but I don’t live like I know it, do I REALLY believe it?

I feel like it’s comparable to someone telling me that they love me, but not showing it in their actions. Very quickly it becomes clear to me that this person does not really love me because none of their actions line up with what they’re saying! And I want my life to line up. I’ve realized it’s now a conscious decision that I have make on a daily basis (many, many times a day) to stop my thoughts, stop what I’m doing, stop how I’m acting, and purposefully share my heart with God, proclaim that He is in control, and let go of my attempt at controlling anything. Then I meditate and recite verses that will keep my thoughts on that track. But girl, this is difficult for me. It does not come naturally. But I know what the truth is & I want to live in it.

Deuteronomy 7:9, “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” Isn’t that an incredible verse!? God is God, just know that. And also know He’s a faithful God. He keeps His promises. Woohoo! Can’t we be excited about that!? I’m about to embarrass my husband & climb the rooftop to shout to the entire city! This is such good news!!

My cute (most of the time) puppy is such an example of how I should live. He just loves all the time. Doesn’t matter who you are, what your past is like or what mistakes you’ve made that day...he LOVES. He’ll give kisses, cuddle all up on you, stare at you with his big, brown eyes with such affection and love. He’s so happy-go-lucky and just trots around the house like today is the best day of his life. He doesn’t worry or stress himself out wondering if he’s getting fed that night. He’s not concerned that if his water bowl gets low it won’t ever be filled back up again. He doesn’t care when we live paycheck to paycheck. So if we can take care of our dog and make sure he has everything he needs, then HOW MUCH MORE can we trust our Savior? Seriously. The God who sent his only Son to DIE for US. How much greater does He want to pour out blessings on us? We serve a God that gives abundantly. Not once have I had a need that He has just barely filled. He has always provided for me above and beyond! This isn’t to say that we can just get “stuff” from Him, or whatever we want, He’ll give to us. Sometimes something like looks like sweet candy to us but ends up being poison. And He knows this & is so faithful take care of His children. He doesn’t take care of you “just barely”; but ABUNDANTLY. He is our daddy, so of course He delights when we laugh & we’re happy & receive special little surprises. Besides the verses that I used above, here are a couple others that I’m standing on. Declare them in your own life & I know you’ll be able to see God powerfully move.

Psalm 37:4 & 7 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” 

This verse is one that I learned when I was little. So in the past I've had a tendency to pass over it or read it really fast and move on because I had it memorized; I already "knew" it. Honestly, I feel like I had become a numb to this verse. But thank you, Jesus, that Your Word is living. This verse has now become one of my favorites & I can just eat every word when I read it now. Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” 

So I am dying to my self and doing what is unnatural. I give You control of my life, my Savior, my Provider, my Protector, my Daddy. I know You are in control & I am not. I release my grip on my own life and cling to You tightly. And I declare You as faithful!

Encouragement

Hello friend. I think you get more beautiful each day. It’s that heart of yours. It’s shining from the inside out.

I was thinking the other day (I do that from time to time). I started to drift off into a nice, little, mental vacation as I stared out the window. There’s a cute little park across the street and I like to people-watch as they walk their dogs & don’t pick up after them.

Side note: To the lady with the Saint Bernard the size of a horse- I see the evidence your dog leaves behind and come spring when the snow melts, you’ll be revealed for the “fake picker upper” you really are. PS. You’re jacket is fantastic. I’ve been looking for a long one like that. You look fabulous. Love, Heather

Ok, back to my point. As I was daydreaming, I began to pray and ask God for some encouragement. I didn’t need anything life-altering, just a word of encouragement from someone. Or perhaps a love note in the mail. Those are always fun. So as I started to go on with my day, I felt God move in my heart. And as much as I had desired encouragement for myself just moments before, I felt the need to encourage someone else. So as I began to think of all the lovely ladies in my life that I would just love to encourage, I knew that God wanted me to encourage someone who wasn’t in my “best friend circle”. You know who I’m talking about. The lady that you’re not necessarily “close to”; or perhaps, the one that you’d prefer to say hi to & that’s all. Anything above that, would just be...awkward. Besides, we don’t know about her life well enough to personally take the time to pray for & encourage her, right?

Ohhhh, how WRONG I can be. She is loved! Just as you are. Just as I am. We are all equally precious in His sight. So guess what? As daughters of the Most High, it is our responsibility to love on her, encourage her, but most importantly, show His love to her. His unconditional, pure, passionate love.

Romans 12:6-9 says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement”. 

I began to feel a little anxiety set in as I was typing out the note to her. How was she going to respond to this? Was she going to think I was weird? I hadn’t talked to her in literally a year. After about line 5 of this note, I realized how ridiculous I was being. Whenever someone encourages me, that’s how I respond... “WHAT? Why would you tell me how great you think I am? You think I’m WHAT!? Amazing?? And you love me?? Gosh. Keep those thoughts to yourself next time!” The more I wrote, the more I began to really admire and love her. Which resulted in me wanting to write more. Which made me love her more. Which...ya know.

As I typed out the last line of the note, I was so excited to send it to her. It wasn’t anything super-deep, I just typed what flowed out. I signed it and hit ‘send’.

Within the hour, I received a message back from her. Her reply started, “You’re not going to believe this, but I was just praying that God would encourage me today.” Oh, sister. I believe it.

Our God is so incredible like that. He’s not only holding the entire universe together, He LOVES to encourage you. He loves to pour His love and grace on you. You are His treasure and the “little things” in your life are so important to Him. I was more encouraged that day by GIVING out encouragement. As great as a love note would have been, her response made my heart leap in my chest. It showed me how personal God is. And how loving and caring He is.

I love this verse. Philemon 1:7, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.” 

So if I may, could I suggest we intentionally refresh the heart of at least one woman this week? And make it interesting; encourage a woman that you haven’t talk to in a while or someone you don’t know that well. They are going to be so surprised and blessed. Let’s pray for guidance on how to encourage her, and just do it! Whether it’s a note in the mail, an email, a flower, a coffee date or a verse written out & given to her; let’s lift up that woman and show her how passionate God is about her. Don’t worry about wording everything perfectly. These are not just your words, this will be a love note from her Father.

By the way, YOU’RE fantastic. You sincerely bless me & have touched my heart. And I’m absolutely positive that you’re beautiful heart is going to greatly impact the people in your life this week.

I am praying for you. And I declare Him faithful!

Just Worship

Hello my friend. I think you and I need a weekend getaway soon to somewhere warm. This cold weather has left my toes blue and my lips chapped. Whoever wrote that song, “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”, was obviously warm-natured and had a vacation house in the tropics. Along with my hot coffee, I have plugged in my electric heating pad. Yep, it’s that kind of a day. And I'm so happy to share some of it with you.

Now that I’m warming up, I’m going to tell you about a few things I’ve learned in my 25 years of life so far.

At age 2, I learned gummy worms are delicious, but the ones in the backyard are not. And being the thorough 2 year old I was, it took me biting into 3 of the little squirmers to come to the conclusion that these were not the same as the rainbow colored treats that grandma brought over when she visited. To this day, I prefer gummy bears. When I was 4, I discovered that my baby sister was NOT a real life baby doll; she did not need Audrey Hepburn bangs, therefore I shouldn’t practice my hairstyling skills on her. When I turned 6, I discovered that boys throw dirt at you when they like you. Why this happens, I still don’t know. All I do know is that I lost a perfectly good Winnie the Pooh t-shirt due to a red clay, mud ball during JP’s crush on me in kindergarten. Tragic, I know. When I was 10, I began to realize my parents didn’t know everything. The immediate years following this realization was an interesting time for me and my mom because I became Miss Sassy Pants and started thinking I was pretty much right...all the time. Ok, I wasn’t “pretty much” right all the time...I was SPOT ON with every issue in life. I was shocked that everyone couldn’t see how perfect my reasoning was. When I turned 16, I discovered that no matter how hard my parents tried to talk me into learning to drive a manual car, I was not at all coordinated enough to do so successfully. If stick-shifts were that great, then please tell me why automatics were invented? At age 18, I realized being considered a “legal adult” didn’t at all make me feel like one. When I was 21, I experienced how wonderful being in love was...and how how painful it was when it wasn’t with the right person. At 22, I discovered how incredible it was to fall in love with my best friend/co-counselor at a summer camp; and at age 23, what a fairytale it was to marry him.

But there’s one thing in particular that I’ve learned and I want to share it with you. It may sound simple, elementary or basic. (But that’s the beautiful thing about truth, right? It’s not complicated.) And this truth I want to share with you has revolutionized my life. Days when I feel overwhelmed & I literally don’t know what to do...I worship. Not because I “feel” happy, or “feel” like worshipping, but because God is faithful every day, whether I feel it or not.

1 Chronicles 16:23 says: “Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day.”

So since I know He is faithful, I worship Him. I don’t focus on my problems, I focus on the truth that He promises never to forget me, that His love will never end and that His grace is sufficient. I don’t focus on the issue that feels so huge it’s paralyzing my heart at times. I plug in my iPod, turn on praise and worship music, and I sing to my God because I trust Him.

Psalm 59:16 says: “But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” 


I don’t want shallow faith that bends or breaks when I feel the waves starting to sway my boat. I don’t want to retreat; shut down; crumble. No. My God calmed the waves. He establishes my footsteps. He WANTS to bless me abundantly. My God is my foundation and He fulfills His promises. And on the days when I would previously cry all day, I now cry out to my God, declaring Him faithful. Sometimes I use words. Sometimes my emotions are so tattered that I don’t even know what words to use, so my spirit cries out to Him.

I love what John 4:23 says. “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”

As dark as those moments seemed before, the sun really did come in the morning. And by worshipping through those times, I stay connected to God in a way I never knew was possible. When I don’t let my emotions dictate whether I declare Him faithful, it strengthens me. It strengthens my spirit. I grab onto my Solid Rock, and even when I feel the waves crashing around me, that Rock doesn’t move.

Of course this truth isn’t something I have perfected or will ever perfect. I still have times of being overwhelmed with the world. But I think that’s ok. It’s who I give those overwhelming issues and feelings to that matter. I’m just so excited that I have experienced the realness of worshipping my God on any day.

So regardless of the waves, I declare Him faithful.

Source of Life

Hi friend. You're looking fabulous today.

Do you have your hot drink in hand? I have mine. I also have my mirror set up in front of me. So as I'm saying this, I'm making sure Heather hears it too.

Yikes. I need to get my highlights touched up. Maybe I'll set that mirror down.

So, I tried to use my cell phone yesterday & it wouldn't dial out, or even turn on for that matter. I hadn't charged it in days but I figured it'd still work. I mean, I know that I have to plug it in every night to ensure that it's battery is totally charged for me the next day. But I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't just work. It was completely charged a few days ago. And it frustrated me. I knew I should just go plug it in, but I had people to call, and I didn't have time to walk over and plug it in! C'mon.

Ok, ok. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous. And I may have even lost a few readers because they thought, "My heavens. Poor girl isn't the brightest crayon in the box, is she?" But for all of you who are still following, this didn't REALLY happen. But let me explain.

During my college years, I would hear my sister and some of my friends say, "I just can't imagine going a day without being in God's Word!" They would describe to me how they could tell if they went through their day without being "filled" with His Word first. I never really understood this because by the time they had their "quiet time", I had already washed the dishes (turned the dishwasher on), ironed my clothes for the next day (threw my outfit in the dryer on the "scorch" setting) and pretended to finish my history paper. How would praying and sitting there help me?

And then, my Savior, after relentlessly pursuing me for years and loving me before I was even born, CHANGED MY LIFE. Slowly, but surely, I began to understand what my sister and friends had tried to express to me before. After experiencing uninterrupted, personal one-on-one time with God on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day, I just knew that I'd never be able to go a day without setting time aside to share my heart with Him. But just as sure as I was that I'd keep it up…I surely didn't. At first I thought that maybe I'd just pray while I was being "productive" around the house. And then, I'd get so sidetracked with changing the toilet paper rolls in the bathrooms and scrubbing the tub, that praying went right out the window. And my favorite laughable reasoning was, "Sure, I WANT to spend time with my Savior. But I have too much to do. Plus, I don't feel 'needy' today, so I'll just spend extra time with Him tomorrow. Won't He be happy about that." Then 24 hours later, "I'll just wait until tomorrow. I'm still doing good. I hardly cried over anything today." Another day or two goes by and I realize that I'm really…just…in a funk for some reason. In fact, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed…and empty. My faith is feeling a little shaky.

But it's written out crystal clear in Romans 10:17. It says: "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."

So this is where you think I'd connect those dots and say to myself, "HELLO! You know what you need. You need to plug into your life source! Easy fix. Now go do it." But instead, like a broken record, I repeat to myself, "I'm way too busy; and really, I just don't feel like it. I'm not feeling happy and I don't want to come to a perfect God when I'm not feeling happy. I'll try to perk myself up with some chocolate or something and THEN I'll spend some interrupted time with Him. Tomorrow." This is so egotistical! Why do I think it's ok to fellowship with the Lord only when I need to get something out of it? The God of the universe wants desperately to spend time with ME; listen to me pour out my heart to Him; comfort me. And He wants to talk directly to me also! John 4:23 expresses how God loves our worship and longs for fellowship with us! Umm, WOW.

Really? Are you serious, Heather? How many times did your momma drop you on your head as a baby? (Besides the 2 times she's apologized COUNTLESS times for.)

God-is-our-source-of-life. He is our joy giver, grace giver, abundant life giver. Without staying plugged into that source, we cannot and will not live each day to the fullest. We need to get over ourselves and realize that we are not self sufficient and can not navigate our lives without Him. And praise God that we don't have to! I declare Him faithful!

Who I Am.

Hello sweet friend.

I’d really love to talk with you and share my heart; I mean, REALLY share my heart. So grab some coffee or hot tea & let’s have a chat. I love you dearly and I want you to know who I am. But above all else, I want to declare my God as faithful.

I don’t know about you, but periodically I catch myself letting out a deep, heavy sigh. Even if nothing in particular is happening at that moment, it doesn’t matter. Here comes the sigh. It’s like I’m releasing feelings of being overwhelmed from fighting a battle that I’m unaware of. Or maybe all the stresses of life combine into this huge pile, so I’m not thinking of just one thing that’s on my mind, because 1,000 things are. What do I do on days like this? Well, there’s the classic to-do list. That’s very helpful, right? Until I literally run out of room on my paper to list everything. So then I think, “I need to buy an actual to-do list that’s long enough. I better put that on my shopping list.” Then I’m overwhelmed that my to-do list can’t even carry all things I need to take care of.  Ok, let’s forget the to-do list. My preferred plan of action is not having a plan at all. That’s right, my friend. I can allow myself to be a professional procrastinator if the occasion calls for it. I thought marrying a man would make me more organized and motivated. Or at least make me look better. But instead, I’m the one that is being asked to pick up my underwear off the floor or keep my paperwork semi-organized. Wow. That transition into superwoman didn’t happen as well as I had hoped.

Marrying a man that truly finds joy in being organized, having a dusted house and wiped-clean electronics doesn’t make it very easy to pretend to be organized either. I know we’re married, but I still have stories about my college dorm room I haven’t shared with him. Stories that would haunt and disturb him to his squeaky clean core.  Marrying a man who thinks being 10 minutes early is being on time has also stretched my “fashionably late by 20 minutes” habits.  During my sophomore year, my sister became a freshman at the same University I was at and we thought it would be fun to take some classes together. From the first day of our sisterly-shared classes, my sister regretted it. I always knew it took me an hour to fully get ready in the morning. But for a little reason I like to call “loving my sleep more than life itself”, (sorry Mae) I made us late for every class. It got to the point where she would say, “I love you, Heather, but I’m going to be on time today. You’re on your own. See you at class.” At first, I could convince her that I was just a couple minutes away from being ready to leave and she would wait for me. But then my baby sister wised up and figured out that 2 minutes meant 15 minutes in my language. And I usually had a stressful, hurried walk to class…alone. I take full responsibility for that. But if I could just add one thing…I was always dressed nicely and fully accessorized. Sometimes I even remembered to bring my textbooks.

Up until about a year ago, I worked tirelessly to make my father proud of me and love me. But love shouldn’t have to be worked for or earned, right? But as I was told what I was doing wrong, I immediately claimed how awful I was and tried harder to change into something different just so I could feel love and approval. Comments in my childhood, regardless of whether or not they were maliciously said to me, deeply scarred me. I went from thinking I could conquer the world, to wondering if I was good at anything. I went from thinking I was the prettiest girl in the room, to not eating for days at a time so that I could be somewhat attractive. I almost always had breakouts on my face, so layers of makeup went on to help complete the mask that I liked to wear to cover up the ugliness I felt.

Looking back at all of the defining moments that hurt in my life, I see God’s hand. Times I was laying in bed, knowing my decisions were not only hurting myself, but hurting the people I claimed to love, I still felt God’s grasp on my heart. He wouldn’t let go. I would cry and ask God why He still wanted me. There was nothing likable, much less lovable about me. At least that’s how I felt. I wasn’t interesting enough or beautiful enough to keep the attention of the people that I desperately longed for. I wasn’t the prettiest, the most talented or creative. I was just…me. And I was a MESS. I always viewed my messy life as a reason that I couldn’t be used by God for something bigger than what I was. I was empty. I didn’t have anything in me that could stack up against the people around me. I had no 5-year plan. I didn’t know what my plans were for the upcoming weekend, much less what I wanted to do after college or the rest of my life.

So long story short, I’m a mess. There’s no cute little box with a perfect little ribbon tied around this girl’s life. But despite my messiness, God has ALWAYS been faithful. And I think BECAUSE of my messiness, God is faithful. God never asked us to get our lives together before we accept Him into our lives. What I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to get to a point where I feel ready enough, clean enough, organized enough, pure enough, holy enough to approach a perfect, unconditionally loving God. I can’t do enough to earn His love. But that’s the thing. There’s NOTHING I can do to make Him love me. He just loves me. Let that soak in.

God loves you. Nothing you’ve done or will ever do will change the fact that Jesus died for YOU. He died for YOU. He welcomes your messiness.

Listen to what 2 Corinthians 12:9 says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So there we are. I’m a mess and God loves me. I am empty without Him. Anything good inside of me is from God. He is personal, loves unconditionally & pours out grace on me every single day. From the second my feet the floor in the morning, God has given me the strength & grace that I need to live that day; not just get through the day, but fully, abundantly & passionately LIVE. Because I am empty without Him & because I am weak, Christ’s power can be made perfect in that weakness! Praise God! I declare Him faithful!